When Doves Cry

It's been a busy couple of weeks for me and I can't see it settling down for a while but I'm liking the fact I'm doing so much and getting more things done.

I can't to a big decision a couple of weeks ago without really even thinking about it before hand...I was just sat here one night and I suddenly decided to move out! WOW I know it's shocking but it's been a long time coming to be honest and I'm more than ready and I don't think there is any better time than now to move out.
About 2 years ago I decided to move out in the summer of 2010 and I didn't think I could move before then but with all that's gone on in the past 9 months (from when I started driving lessons with Mick) and how my confidence has grown a little I think it's helped me so much and rather than going backwards to who I was (and the lack of confidence I had) before Mick came into my life I think now is the time to go. It will do me the world of good and I know I will struggle heaps for a while but pushing myself daily, when I've moved out, will help me heaps and will be good for me in the long run even though I am sure I won't think so.
So I've been looking for somewhere and I've had a look at a couple of places and I can't afford anywhere for a couple of weeks (the deposit and first months rent) but once I have the money I will be gone once I've found a house. The first house I went to see I'd like but it was three bedrooms and I only need two so I don't think I'm going to go for it.
I know I want to live in Mill Hill so it's just waiting for a house there that I like and in the mean time I'm buying everything I need from plates to pans and cooker to a fridge freezer so by the time I've got somewhere I will have everything I need.
Everyone was shocked but it's been coming for a long time and now I have a little more confidence I just can't think of a better time. I will miss my dad, for what I see of him, and I do feel guilty about leaving him because it's been the 2 of us for the past 14 years but I am sick of doing all the housework and cooking and cleaning up after him and it's just time I had my own life and my own space.
I know it will be weird and take a lot of getting use to but I need to do this, I know if I don't do it now I will never do it because my confidence has already gone down in the past month so before I go back to what I was I need to get out.
Maybe by my next blog I will of gone...who knows but watch this space!!

Everybody's Fool

I don't know why I can't seem to keep up with doing blogs, I think it's just me being part lazy and part wanting to spend my time doing other things.
Nothing much is going on to talk about, well not really, and I can't even remember what I talked about last time I did a blog which of course isn't good.

I've done two passplus's now and I don't think I'm getting anything out of them other than spending time with Mick and yeah I love spending time with him but paying to spend time with him just isn't a good idea but I don't want to not see him and go for drives. Because lets face it a lot of my driving lessons weren't needed and were just put in place so we could spend time together. He has a hold over me and he knows it so he knows he could easily take me for a ride and have me doing passplus until I'm 50 haha. I know it won't be that extreme but he is going to pass me and said I don't need to have anymore unless I want to and of course I want to but I think I'd rather spend my money on other things.
Last one he didn't even want to go on the motorway and it was only because I wanted to go on that he let me go on a couple of quiet ones when it's busy ones I want him to take me on!
Anyway I have one in about a months time and it's going to be my last one and I want time on the motorway and I don't mean quiet ones either and he is going to be told, I'm paying him and I want a proper passplus!

I got Green Day tickets this morning :o) I am so happy because I've never seen them live before and have always wanted to see them live so I really can't wait to go and see them. It is going to be amazing. I am seeing them two days before my Birthday in Manchester and I plan on having a great night out in Manchester. Halloween is the night before my birthday so I hope I get invited to a Halloween fancy dress party of something because I think that would be amazing!

It's getting closer and closer now to the Michael Jackson concert in London. July during the second week, I'm going for three days and I am so excited about it. I really can't wait, he is the ultimate performer and I've always wanted to see him live and of course I never thought it would happen but hey it looks like it is going to happen and I will be booking my hotel this weekend and I so can't wait.
I love London so that is going to be amazing, being down there again for three days and I am going to plan everything I want to do and see before I go and hope to get it all in. The concert is on the second days and we are coming home on the first day (in the afternoon) so we basically need to get the majority of the stuff done within the first 24 hours of being there. It is great and I love the underground, it rocks!!

I am going to Scotland three weeks today and am meant to be doing the half marathon but I've not done any walking in 2 weeks so I don't think I will be fit enough to walk a half marathon but I am going to keep on walking and get fitter and fitter so I can start my running by the end of June and that's not that far off come to think of it.

Anyway I need to go and get busy, I have some work to do today and I am putting some CDs onto my iTunes.

I don't want to miss a thing

Well my dads 70th birthday party was a great success even though I was Miss Stress Head especially the last few days leading up to it. I didn't stop once from 6am on the Thursday right up until 7:30pm on the Friday (the night of the party) and everything stressed me out as I battled with time or the lack of it. The calming thing for me was doing the buffet, everything after that or before that just left me totally stressed out. I didn't even have as much time as I needed or wanted to get ready which annoyed me more than anything because I didn't feel 100% right but it was fine.
The party was fun, I did a quiz about my dad which seemed to get the party going and everyone seemed to really enjoy it and I was shocked that my mum's team won because I didn't expect it, I thought someone else would win.
I was up dancing most of the night which is shocking and totally out of character for me because of my super low confidence but that night I felt more confident than normal and I didn't need many drinks in me to pluck up the confidence and courage to get Sue up on the dance floor. Soon there was about 6 of us from the running club up and dancing and I found myself dancing with people I didn't really know or like because of what I heard about them. Lyndsey and Louise were up every now and then but what shocked me was when they left the dance floor I didn't which I would of normally of done. I think it helped that I was at my dad's party and knew everyone or at least knew who they were. I didn't feel really confident up there but I am glad that I stayed up there for most of the night.
I got Linda to help me with the birthday cakes because we did one for Sue too because it's her birthday on the same day as my dads, she's exactly half his age, and he wanted to make a big thing about it so he did a speech and got her up and I went up and gave her a card and a present and she was shocked. Anyway we got her a cake too so when I did my dad's cake we did Sue's too and she was shocked to find she had gotten a cake too.
It was a wonderful night and everyone kept coming up to me and saying "well done" for organizing everything and I think I got almost as many hugs and kisses as my dad that night off everyone which was nice.

When I got home that night both my dad and Pete was pissed out of their heads but my dad went off to bed whereas Pete ended up throwing up all other the place and falling asleep in the bathroom for 4 hours which wasn't fun for me because I was dying to go in there for hours and when I banged on the door I got no response so I was sat up most of the night waiting to get in the bathroom and only got three hours sleep and had a throbbing headache all the next morning because I couldn't get in the kitchen because Pete was in the middle room on the futon.
When I finally got in there I discovered Pete had left loads of sick everywhere and it seemed like he didn't really want to clean it up and he half cleaned it once my dad put a mop and mop bucket in his hands.

The day we didn't get much done because of how rough Pete felt. I put some money on the grand national and we went out for a carvery in the evening. My dad went to bed early and so did Pete so I went off to sit and chat online on my laptop until the early hours of the morning!
Next day I didn't go downstairs until shortly before we went out to lunch, we went down to the Ribchester arms for a few hours for a meal before we went one way and Pete went the other - home.
When we got back to my house we cleaned up the rest of Pete's sick and gave the house a good clean before I went round to see Louise to chill out for an hour.

Monday saw me getting my nails done again. I'd got them done on Thursday but the glitter was pealing and breaking off so Lyndsey said she'd take it all off and give me another set of nails. My nails looked fab when she finished, as always!

The rest of the week just saw me doing bits and pieces around the house and on Wednesday going up to Pendle Hill with my dad and Louise for a run & eat. It is a running club event and obviously Lou & I weren't going to run so we went for a walk but Lou wanted to go back much sooner than me and knowing woman (or people in general) aren't allowed to go off alone in case of injury/getting lost/being attacked I had no choice but to go back with Louise when she wanted but I could of carried on for another 30 minutes before turning back so I was a little disappointed with her efforts. I did think I was the most unfit person I know but now I'm thinking she might just be more unfit than me which shocks me because I did think she'd be fitter than me because I call myself Miss Super Unfit.
We had Mexican food that night, I had a chicken burrito, once they finally served the food and I got to hand out photo's to people who came to the party.

Thursday was dull and I spent the day trying to get sponsorship for our next club race. Finding people to ask for sponsorship and writing them letters. I hope I get some more, it would be great if I did.

Friday was my dad's birthday and we ended up at The Ribchester Arms again for another lovely meal and my dad was drunk by the middle of the afternoon and was in bed by tea time.

Saturday, Sunday & Monday (Easter Weekend) the weather was amazing here. Stunning blue skies, the sun and a nice cool breeze so I had to make the most of it. On the Saturday I walked for 70 minutes, the Sunday I walked 75 minutes & the Monday I walked 110 minutes. The Sunday was the hardest because I was still feeling pretty tired from Saturday & Sunday as the walks are nearly all uphill on the way home, but I was determined to go further and I wanted to go further still but I knew that I would struggle if I did that so I am glad that I turned round when I did but it was a nice walk and the music I had on stopped it from dragging or feeling as long as it was.

I am walking a half marathon on the 23rd May so I have to walk daily for at least an hour a time. If it's raining I'm still going to have to go out but I will take my umbrella unless the weather is too bad, because of rain, but on days like that I can put on my baseball cap and go down to Witton Park I guess. I can't walk for less than a hour a time unless I don't feel well (even though I've not felt good all weekend) or the weather is super bad). I need to get up to 4 hours walking which is double today but I don't think I will be doing that for at least two weeks because my body isn't used to me doing anything even though I walked everyday for three weeks I stopped three weeks ago so I need to get back into that.
It is leaving me super tired though and I've been going to bed earlier and sleeping longer but I knew that would happen because of how unfit I am but I hope over the next 6 months my fitness will improve and improve. I'm basically going from doing no exercise since well never to wanting to get fit so of course it's going to take it's toll on my body!

We Close Our Eyes

Another three weeks has passed since my last blog but I guess that's better than 2 months or something like that.
I forgot to say in my last one that I managed to get Michael Jackson tickets in the presale for the second week of the series of shows he's doing at the O2 in London. I'm looking forward to it and it's going to be my first concert of the year by the looks of things. I love London too so I can't wait to go to London for at least three days (I don't know how long I'm going for yet!). So it should be a really good time.

I've mainly been organizing my dads 70th birthday party, which was Friday 3rd April, and the last week of that was mad and manic for me especially in the last two days. I basically didn't stop from 6am on the Thursday morning right up until 7:30pm on the night of the party. I obviously slept between Thursday and Friday but not for long. It was a nightmare and I was on duty a lot at the party especially at the end of the night but I didn't drink much and I didn't want to anyway. I did have a little help from Lou, Madeline (who let me us her kitchen) and Lyndsey (who helped me put up banners n pictures at the venue) ... oh and Pete who printed the pics, blew up a few balloons and then did some stuff before the party.

I had an amazing time at the party. I even shocked myself with all that I got up to because I don't normally socialize because of my lack of confidence, I tend to keep myself to myself but I knew everyone there and it helped me so much. I had such a wonderful time and was up most of the night dancing with people from the running club (mainly Sue, Linda & Lesley). I even got up on my own and kept going back and dancing on my own which I'd never of done as little as a month ago so it just goes to show how much my confidence has grown over the last month.
I did a quiz about my dad too which seemed to get the whole thing going because before I did the quiz no one was interacting as much and were all stood around but as soon as I got everyone sat down for the quiz things started to happen. Shockingly my mum won the quiz and I didn't think she would, she only won by 2 points but I didn't think she'd know the answers to a lot of them but I think she did guess on some of them!
There was too much food and a lot of it got binned at the end of the night but it was much better than there being too much. I didn't find them at all helpful at the venue either and all I heard was them moaning and they let members in who dived into the buffet as soon as it was open and even took part in the quiz (the cheeky so n so's). So I won't be using that venue again because I have a list of complaints about the place and their attitudes!
But a good night was had by all and everyone kept coming up to me and telling me I'd done a great job, I got a lot of kisses and hugs that night...almost as many as my dad and it wasn't even my birthday so I did well.
My dad got a shed loads of cards and it's not even his birthday until Friday either! He got some nice presents too and there are more to come because I've got him about another 5 presents yet but I did give him one on the night which was a designer watch!

Not been up to too much else other than starting passplus and getting the house sorted and doing some work. I've been getting out a bit more too now I can drive alone but getting the car can be a total nightmare to be honest and I can't wait to get my own but it's probably going to be around August time when that happens but it's April now so I guess it's not that far off. I won't be getting one on credit so I have to save the cash for it. But it will be nice knowing I bought it rather than it being bought for me by my dad because I will appreciate it heaps more knowing I worked hard to buy it.

Anyway this is it for now!

You Spin My Head Right Round

The news of the week is that I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST!! How amazing is that? I got one minor but that was for a very stupid reason to do with my nerves.
I was so amazed and happy to find out I'd passed because of course I had thought the worst all the way through the test because it is so nerve wreaking. I am glad I did it though because I almost cancelled it after a run in with my driving instructor. I would of called him a good close friend at one time but right now I don't know what to think of him or about him after he severly upset me days before my driving test. I hope to put it all in the past but I will see how things go, all I know now is that things can never be the same between us.

So now I am legal to drive alone and I made the most of it. I drove 100 miles over the weekend and I've not driven since Monday but I plan on doing some driving tomorrow even if it's just driving my dad to and from work so that I can have the car for a few hours. It is wonderful to have the freedom although I did want the car tonight and couldn't have it because my dad wanted it. I was saving for a car but spent most of my savings so now I am going to start saving again and get one in the summer. I know what I want, I want a corsa.

I am now talking again to someone I went to primary school with. It is so surreal. I can't get over it because I've not seen this person in 14 years and it was me falling out with my driving instructor that got us talking again. She came round for over two hours before my driving test and I saw her a couple of days ago because she came round and we took our dogs for a walk in Witton Park and are probably going to do the same tomorrow too. She is really nice and reminds me or myself so much. So I hope to spend more time with her although she doesn't have as much spare time as I've got because she is married with three children.

I am trying to think of my own business ideas because I'd love my own little business but I don't have a clue doing what though. I'm trying to think of ideas of something free or cheap to set up but I am still really stumped for ideas so I hope something comes to me soon.
I am also hoping to find a job where I work one day a week or a couple of half days, it will help me with my confidence and it will also give me a little cash each week which I need.

Well that's it for now but I hope to be back on soon.

Please Update Me!!

It would seem that I am getting bad at trying to keep up with my blog, I don't know what it going on but it's looking like I'm not going to be able to keep a weekly blog on here anymore because I just simply forget to come on here and do one so it's going to be a case of doing one as and when I remember.

Well a lot has been going on since my last blog, lots of driving lessons, falling out with my driving instructor because of his lies, shopping, working hard, decorating and so much other stuff and I don't know how I'm going to fit it all in, in the short time I planned on spending on this blog.

Firstly, let me start with my driving. Well it's really good and I'm loving it to be honest with you, I love getting behind the wheel and driving and my driving test is on Friday and I'm not dreading it but I am dreading seeing my driving instructor because we fell out yesterday because of somethings he said to me and he really hurt and upset and annoyed me. He left me so annoyed that I didn't know what to do with myself and had to go out for a long walk to help me calm down. I am a lot calmer today but I'm still very annoyed and upset about what went on and what was said and well I really don't want to see him on Friday...it's the last thing I want but it's my test so it looks like I've got to try and rise above it and act like an adult...it's funny because I was the only one acting like an adult on Monday.
So yeah it's on Friday and I was trying to keep that to myself but after what happened I ended up telling everyone that my test is on Friday and that I don't want to do it. My friend Emily talked me into doing it, I think if it wasn't for her I would of cancelled it. I just can't stand the thought of being in the car with him for 90 minutes, I'd rather pluck all my body hair one by one than sit with him again but after Friday I never have to see him again and that hurts but also it's good because the way he was with me yesterday is something that I don't need nor want in my life and it looks like I got him all wrong. He said his hands are clean but if they were any dirtier they'd be pitch black.

I started stripping the paper in the middle room a couple of weeks ago and it's been a nightmare to say the least. The bottom half came off easily but then the top half was a pain and it took days and days of steaming it to get it all done. I left maybe a quarter of it for my dad because I was just so sick of doing it and needed it out of the way. So now we are left with a very messy room that needs papering and painting and that is going to be done next week because all the contents of the front room are in there at the moment whilst we wait for a new carpet to be put down in the front room.
I've picked the colours and I've decided to get some wooden blinds for the middle room which of course means a trip to Ikea and I love going there. I need another DVD rack so it's all good and I love the fact it's open at midnight and yes I've been there at midnight before now.

My bedroom is almost 100% finished! I know it's been going on for months and months now and it was driving me round the bend so one day last week I went in there with my paint and I finished all the main parts and now there is just areas that need doing with the brush and my curtains need putting back up and well the ceiling does need doing but that is going to wait because I just want to enjoy the walls and woodwork being finished after all this time.
I also finished the bathroom, I just painted the doors and it looks amazing now, much better than it did before and I think once we get a new blinde up in there it will look heaps better so that's all that needs to be bought for it.

I bought myself a new laptop. I had one for about 5/6 months and barely used it because we couldn't get the wireless router working and well I mainly wanted it for when I was in my bedroom or when I was sat on the computer at night and I ended up getting rid of it in the end because no matter what we tried it wouldn't work.
But then for months I was wishing I still had one because I got sick of sitting at my desk for long hours typing away online to friends after spending some of the day working at the computer. It got dull and boring as well as causing a lot of pain in my wrists and neck/back.
I felt so guilty about spending so much on myself, I am so used to spending my money on everyone else that spending that sort of money on myself was something I don't do and I had to go away for a few hours and give it some serious thought and even as I was walking out the shop with the laptop I was still feeling so guilty about spending so much on myself. I love the laptop, I am always on it during the evening...sometimes I will go on there instead of my desktop but a lot of the time I will go on my desktop until a certain time and then swap to the laptop. But the last week I've mainly been starting on my laptop and finishing on my laptop.

Oh yeah we are getting a new carpet because my dad burnt the last one and if it wasn't for me the whole house would of gone up in flames. He put the paint stripper heat gun on top of the shredder and some how it fell off and turned itself on and started a fire which I smelt and put out. He said he couldn't smell a thing but it was so strong that I had to open all the windows and the smell took forever to go. I don't think he realises just how serious the situation was and just says it was an accident but I was seconds from getting into the shower so I am glad I didn't go now because he wouldn't of smelt it and the room would of been on fire before he realised anything was wrong.
So now I've had to spend hours emptying this room, all the books ans folders and everything else, so I can have a new carpet put down and I don't appreciate having to be so put out by the hours I'm having to spend moving things around and I've told him to be more careful in future because it just isn't funny.

So here it goes...

OK so I was meant to do a Christmas blog and as of yet I've not got round to it but I am sure I will do, or I hope I will find time to get it sorted and out of the way.
Not too much going on here for me other than work, it's tax return month so there is lots of account work and tax returns to get in before the 31st so I've been a lot busier than normal and it's good to have things to do.
So my days have been mainly filled with that and just trying to keep myself busy or more active than I've been before because it's about time that I spent more time doing things instead of sitting around wasting my life away which is basically what I was doing. So it's hard to get out of a bad habit of a lifetime but the last week or so I am pleased to say that I have been a lot more active and motivated than normal but of course there are days and times when I sit and waste time. I don't want to push myself so I'm doing things all the time but there are times when I can be doing things and not wasting my time sat at the computer or in front of the TV.

I am in the middle of trying to organize a surprise 70th birthday party for my dad and I'm getting no help from my brothers but that doesn't surprise me one little bit so it's just being left to me to sort and pay for. They wouldn't of even thought of doing one, it's the way they are but at least one of us turned out to be very thoughtful and giving.
It is ages away but it isn't really, it's about 10 weeks time and that time will fly by so I am booking somewhere in the next week and then everything else is much easier like sorting out the entertainment and food etc...just need to get the money together now and I'm working on that.

So work and party planning is what is going on in my life at the moment. Pretty doll but it's keeping me busy. I am also trying to get fitter and get out more but this cold weather is spoiling that for me at the moment and with it being so cold I'm not wanting to go out for walks but I'm hoping for the weather to get better in the next 3-4 weeks and then as long as it's not raining I should be walking daily which of course is what I want....it will help me build up my fitness levels and maybe help me to lose a little weight too.

So that's basically all really, for now anyway.

The life within the life

I know I was meant to be doing a Christmas blog as my 'next' blog but that will probably be the next one I do now....it's been a busy couple of days but I will get round to it soon.

Well one week into the new year and so far so good I guess except for the fact I have no money whatsoever and could do with some for all sorts of reason. There is 4 birthday's this month that I need to buy presents for, also I need to pay for driving lessons, I owe Lyndsey money for the last set of nails she did for me on Tuesday, I want a iPod Nana (?), some DVDs, I need to book a driving test oh and I'm trying to book a venue for my dads 70th but I don't have the cash to do that. As you can see there are lots of things that I need money for right now and those are just some of the things.

I didn't have a lesson on Tuesday (6th) like I was meant to do. Well I got up early, got ready and about 20 mins before the lesson my driving instructor rings me up and tells me that he can't make it because his car was in the garage and he was meant to be getting it back and he'd just found out he wasn't going to be getting it back in time for the lesson so I didn't end up getting one in the end which was good news for my dad because he needed the money I had for my lesson for some food. Maybe not good news for me because I was really looking forward to it. So now it's next Tuesday at a much earlier time...I really like 12pm lessons but it's much earlier than that. I know it will do me good to get up even earlier because I will get much more things done.

This week is the start of a new healthier me. No more fatty foods, no more overeating or eating the wrong foods. So far it's going really well although I've left myself too hungry at times by missing various meals like lunch or breakfast but I'm going to get into the habit of not missing any because now I am eating smaller portions I am more hungry than normal so skipping meals is not the best idea.
For breakfast I've been having a small bowl of bite size shredded wheat followed by a mid morning snack of a piece of fruit, I did have poached egg on toast yesterday which was nice, lunch I have been having tomato soup...I am meant to have that with ryvita but I've not been having that although I should because soup isn't the most filling thing. Then in the afternoon I'm having fruit again followed by dinner which has been chicken and veg or fish, rice and potatoes so far this week. I must say I love chicken so that will be a massive feature in what I'm eating over the next few months.
To drink I've mainly been on bottled water this week especially yesterday and today as I don't feel 100% well. I did have a bottle of diet coke on Monday but before then I'd not had one in about 5 or 6 days. I was going to try and cut down on that but it looks like I'm managing to do that without trying. I don't want to take it out of my diet altogether but maybe go from 7 bottles a week to 3-5 per week.
Exercise wise I have decided not to push myself too hard because in the past I've done that and after two weeks I've all but given up from tiredness or from injury so now I am going to take it easier starting with daily walks for the first month. I have to walk at least a minimum of 20 mins a day for 4 weeks although I do plan on doing more the target of 20 mins is for those days when I'm either tired or don't feel too well. I haven't walked since Tuesday because when I got up yesterday I ached so much from the day before even though I didn't do much it just goes to show how unfit I am and how wise I am being with not pushing myself too hard as far as the exercise goes to start off with. So yesterday I ached like mad and I thought I'd go for a 20 min walk later in the day but as the day went on I became ill and I'm still not feeling great so I never go out plus I worked a full 8 hours too. Today, again, I've not gotten out for my daily walk because I don't feel too good but I am going to see how I feel tomorrow...I hope I feel up to getting out even if it's just for 20 minutes...I will have to wait to see what tomorrow brings.

So everything is going good so far except the illness wasn't planned I am proud at the fact that I'm still on the diet and I'm more active than normal and I'm getting more done and I'm getting to bed before 1am which is great as I'm getting up earlier which again is good because of the amount of things I am now getting done. It's hopefully the start of a better life, of a better, happier and fitter person. I know there will be struggles at some point when I will become less motivated but I will cross that bridge when I get to it. I just know that it's now or never with regards to changing my life around and I'm making small baby steps so I don't fall backwards and give up as it's the make or break time in my life...I can either carry on the way I am or I can improve and get so much better.

New Year

It's time for me to get on track with this blog writing malarky and try and get at least 52 blogs done this year, one for each week of the year, as I didn't seem to do that last year for some reason. I did keep forgetting to do blogs and then there was a two month period where I didn't have access to my blog because I'd gotten a new computer. That is all about to change with a new year, a new me, a new determination,

Time for a update of the last two months of 2008

Well I went away for my birthday for 4 days and I really enjoyed it. It was such a nice change to be away from the same four walls, away from the same old routines and the same old town. I enjoyed it so much that it was almost a shame to be back home. It was great to be able to do what I want when I wanted and it was nice not having to clear up after my dad all the time or have to put up with his grumpy moods or him peeing on the bathroom floor.
It showed that I can manage away from home, I can live away from home with ease and I proved it on those four days away. In fact I didn't once miss being away from home, the only things I missed were the internet and having more than 5 channels to watch on the TV....not that we had 5 channels to watch because I think we only found 2 or 3 in the end and every time we wanted to change the channel we had to retune the TV so it wasn't the best TV in the world.
Oh, yeah, I went away with Lyndsey and we went to Fleetwood which isn't too far away from here but it might as well be with just how different it was. There wasn't much in Fleetwood itself but it was a town like any town but so much cleaner, there weren't many places to go but I guess with Blackpool down the road there is always things to do there. We did go to Blackpool on the Saturday, which was my birthday, and we went with the intention to spend some money on clothes. We were going to Primark and I couldn't wait because I'd never been to Primark and I'd always wanted to go. It was PACKED in there, with people grabbing at clothes left right and centre. There was so much stuff in there, it was bliss but a lot of things weren't in my size, they'd sold out, but I did end up buying around 10 items in total and I was shocked at how cheap everything was. The best things I bought were: a star necklace, a pair of full length black leggings and a pair of bed socks. I am deffo going back there but I want to have at least a good £50-100 when I go back because I could easily spend that and come away with lots of things so I'm going to go again in a couple of months time...I don't know if I will be going to the Blackpool one or the Preston one but the Blackpool one is much bigger so it might be that one.
When we left Primark we ended up going into a shopping centre part of Blackpool because Lyndsey was on the look out for a new coat and well I wanted a good look around too because I wanted some more clothes because I'd not spent that much in Primark even though I came out with so much stuff.
I ended up finding a really nice black dress in Dotty P's (yeah a dress!!) and a lovely pair of skinny flare jeans in there too. My friend told me their jeans were "crotch-tastic" and she wasn't joking either. They were cheap at £15 a pair so i was looking around for a pair and about 95% of them had massive crotch areas but then in another part of the shop I found these "skinny flare jeans" and they had a low-ish wise waist and looked amazing and at only £15 they were a bargain so I got those.
We looked in some other shops but I didn't really get anything else that day but it was a good day because normally I probably buy 90% of my clothes online. A lot of the time they don't look as good online or look better so sometimes I end up with things that look totally different in person so it was nice to get out and have a good look around the shops, something I hope to do more of in future instead of doing all my shopping online.
We'd parked on this car park in the centre and were near the top...when we'd left we used the stairs and I got so dizzy walking down them because they were in a circle all the way down ... I got myself so dizzy and almost fell over. I knew I'd not enjoy going back up them because we were on the 7th floor and each floor had 4 sets of stairs to walk up so you can just imagine how dizzy it could make up but on top of that I am super unfit so walking up that many flights of stairs may just kill me. I was deffo trailing behind Lyndsey and I had to stop 2 times near the top because of how breathless it was making me and how hard it was on the back of my legs and when I got to the car Lyndsey admitted I wasn't the only one who struggled with those stairs and there is me thinking she is a lot fitter than me and she struggled but I knew my fitness is way too low and after those stairs something had to be done about me and my lack of fitness that's for sure.
I still haven't mentioned about our first night there....well when we got there I got out into a really muddy patch and didn't realise because of how dark it was so I ended up walking mud in and not realising until we'd gotten everything in out of the car. It was decided the best thing to do was leave it to dry and then brush it up before we leave so that's what I did but I had to clean my trainers.
The caravan was so much nicer than either of us expected, I must admit I did expect to find a tiny beaten up old caravan but was shocked to find a really big, clean 3 bedroomed caravan. It shocked us both.
I had the room with the double bed but I don't think Lyndsey minded because she picked the bedroom next to the bathroom and pushed the two beds together which made a double. There was a bedroom between us and we both used half of the room each (and a bed each) to store our things so it worked out really well.
Lyndsey cremated the pizza under the grill so I had a sandwich that night and we were soon onto making and drinking Mojitos. We didn't know if we were going to stay in or go out but I was more than happy to stay in but we decided to go up to the club house and check it out for a few hours. Of course there was some kind of dodgy band on and little kids running around the place but we had a few drinks before leaving and coming back to some more drinks. I couldn't wait to get into my PJs in all honesty and we settled down in front of the TV with our drinks and it was super cold in the caravan with no central heating so neither of us were looking forward to going to bed.
Well let me tell you, that night I am shocked I didn't freeze to death!! I aint joking either. It was just so cold, way too cold. I couldn't sleep because I was shivering violently. I had my PJs on, socks, a hoody (with the hood up), scarf and was wrapped in my duvet but still I was frozen. It was horrible. I didn't know what to do with myself and I just wanted to cry but I was scared the wetness would freeze my eyes shut. I would nod off every now and then to be woken up with violent shaking. I tried to keep my body still because the more I moved the more violent the shaking got but not only was my body shaking but my head was and my teeth were chattering.
I barely got any sleep that night and I woke up super cold that morning and I rushed out of bed into the living room to find the fire on full and the curtains open letting warm sunlight into the room. It took a good hour before the shaking stopped and then I was still really cold and not wanting to move from in front of the fire. There was no way I could take another night of being that cold so I decided when we went out shopping that day (my birthday) I would get another duvet and even a fleece blanket and some super thick socks and some gloves too. There was just no way I could go thru another night like that again.
Not long because we went out Lyndsey was in my bedroom and she found a switch on the wall and it was for the heating!! OMG!! We couldn't believe it when she found that. I'd seen it the night before but it didn't say what it was for so I'd left it. We didn't know if it made all the van warm but we were going to find out when we got back.
The Saturday night we took ages to get ready and we went to Michael's Tandoori House for a meal and it was so good and we ended up with a super massive garlic nann bread. It was the biggest one I'd ever seen in my life. We also found out that they'd forgotten to put the £14 bottle of Rose wine on the bill and well we weren't about to tell them but we did feel so guilty that we left a £1.50 tip each lol.
We ended up going back to the club that night for some drinks before heading back to the van and staying up till almost 5am drinking and Lyndsey doing some mad voice-over on the foreign film on the TV. She fell asleep on the sofa and I tottered off to my warm bedroom for the night....what bliss it was to be sleeping in such a warm room...it was so nice and there was me dreading it all day but we found the heating and were over the moon about it.
I was woken about 4 hours later by Lyndsey banging round in the kitchen...does this girl ever sleep? lol. There was me hoping to sleep in till lunch because of the time I'd gone to bed and there was her up and about. So I got up, I knew I could catch up on my sleep when I got home the next day.
That day we decided we were going to go and have lunch in a local place called Richardson's Fish Bar, we were eating there because Lyndsey's last name is Richardson.
So she showered first and went off to Asda to pick up some bits while I showered and got ready. She was ages, I was going to send out a search party because I thought she'd be back ages before I was ready cos it takes me 45-60 mins to get ready and the Asda was the next junction down 5 mins away but she was about 90 minutes in total so I had more than enough time to get ready.
When she got back we were soon off out again to the fish bar and had a really lovely meal there and were going to walk it off but it was freezing so we ended up going to Freeport Shopping Village instead. We looked in most shops and I picked up a couple of things in this old worlde shop and Lyndsey got a cream/white coat in the Next discount shop....the coat was really nice. We then ended up in this shop that sold bags and costume jewellery and I noticed they did ear piercing. Well I've wanted my second hole done again for years (had it done 2 times before) so I thought why not?!! So I went and asked the women if she was doing it and she said yes so I got them done. I went for the £17 earrings which were super nice and I didn't pass out and she was shocked I didn't even flinch either. But I didn't flinch because I could hear them about to pierce me a second before it did so I knew it was coming...otherwise I'd prob of jumped out the seat each time lol.
Back at the caravan Lyndsey said I had to go and sit in my room while she set something up...she said she had a surprise for me and I couldn't wait to find out what. It wasn't long before I found out and I almost cried because I am so not used to people doing nice things for me. She'd got me a lovely pink birthday cake and candles and birthday hats and fun blow on sound things...it was so nice and then she cooked fajitas which she is amazing at. I was really happy to say the least.
We went to the club that night as it was the last night there not only for us but the whole site as it was closing down the next day for winter. But there wasn't much on so we ended up playing pool and playing on the machines in there for a good few hours before coming back to the van, having a few drinks and going to bed.
We were meant to be out the van at 10am the next morning but it was another hour before we left. There was so much packing, so much to take with us that it only just fit in Lyndsey's car but we got it in and thats all that matters.
We came the seaside way home though all the seasides from Fleetwood to Blackpool to St Annes with a few in the middle. The nearer we got to Blackburn the darker the clouds got so we left the nice weather back in Fleetwood.
It was good to get back home, mainly because I was dying for the bathroom. But it was a shame to be home at all because I'd gotten so used to being away from home, having my own space, not being expected to do everything and being able to come and go as I pleased. I liked it so much.
It took me an eternity to unpack everything when I got hom but it was nice to be back in my own bed with my own things around me and a working TV with more channels than I can shake a stick at. I'd do it again in a heartbeat, it was good to be away from the norm and the company was good.

Day after I got back I had a driving lesson so I didn't have time to lie around in bed that morning because I had a date with the hippy and it was good to get a start back into the routine of my life that I had before I went away.

November was just a month of driving lessons because I had my test on the last Tuesday of the month so we had to get as many lessons in as we could. I think I had 1 the week I got back, 2 the week after, 3 the week after that (I'd asked for 3) and then the day before I had 2 hours with him and that was so tiring....I couldn't wait for it to end that's for sure but it hadn't helped that the nerves had kicked in a few days before and I was barely sleeping and barely eating. It was a nightmare. The night before my test I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat in the morning and I was just a mess in general. I had 90 mins with him before hand and well I didn't want any time with him because I was wishing I didn't have to do my test. Everything went great though in that 90 mins, I was getting everything 100% right and I felt now was the time to do the test.
The test flew by...it was 40 minutes long but it felt more like 2 minutes. I failed though!! I was passing right up until the last 2 mins of the test where I did two dangerous things and got failed on those. My instructor was part to blame for them but I won't go into details but I wasn't happy and then I barely said two words to him as he drove me home. I bet he thought I wasn't going to have any more lessons and I was considering it because my theory certificate was going to run out in ten days from then. He told me to go in the house and try and book a test before it ran out but there wasn't anything and I was forced to book another theory test and that was the last thing I wanted to do. ..... I then booked a lesson with him for the following week and decided to do only one a week. He said he was glad that I'd decided to carry on with my lessons as he suspected I wasn't going to but with him as my instructor I was going to carry on because I enjoy spending my time with him.
Not had a lesson for two weeks now with Christmas and New Year but I have one booked for next week (almost 3 weeks since my last one) and I've been driving my dads car since then so I know my driving will of gone down hill because driving my dads car is like driving a tank and I struggled with driving it and it's horrible driving with someone next to me other than Mick. I'd gotten so used to him being there that it just wasn't the same and well my dad kept shouting at me and his car kept stressing me out so I knew from how I was driving it is going to take me a few lessons to get back to the standard I was before Christmas.


Anyway I've been sat here way too long now so this is my update for now. There isn't much more I can write about anyway but I shall be back soon with the little bit of updating I have left as well as with what I got for Christmas.