......Ballad of Billy the Kid......

I am sat here so tired and have not done much at all today, it is the driving that tires me out and after doing 30 miles yesterday in the car I am really feeling it today. I eventually fell asleep at 2am this morning/last night after sitting up and watching a Nickelback concert I bought and then some of Pretty Woman, I got bored with sitting watching the film so now and then I would pop on here and look for things on the net.
Slept pretty late today but my body must of needed the sleep and actually when I think about it I didn't even get 9 hours sleep so I guess that is why I am tired still from yesterday.

Talking about the Nickelback concert I forgot to mention yesterday that I got it last week. I was after their latest album as I only have a copied version of Silver Side up that my first bf copied for me back in 2002 and that is getting a bit worn out. I do have it on the comp but anyway that isn't what I went on for though of course I want/ed a proper copy of the album. So I go on a few sites looking for their new album along with maybe 6 other albums I am after and I found it at a good price and the others were all around the same price but I could only get one album because lack of money.
I didn't know what to get as I am after the new RDCPs album, Beyonces new album, Xtin's new album, Evanesence's new album, Mind Body and Soul by Joss Stone (can't find my copy) and of course the latest Nickelback album. (((( saw them in Manchester in June and they rocked))). So I didn't know what to get, anyway I end up going onto AMAZON and they have that buy new and used thing were other sellers sell their items so I was looking and no one had the new one any cheaper than I could get it off a certain site so I ended up looking at a special edition of Silver Side Up. It has the album and a live DVD in it and I thought I will get that so I bought it and it came to about £3.50 brand new including postage. I thought what a bargain!!! Anyway it was posted the next day and I got it yesterday morning and I am more than pleased with it right now, it is totally amazing. It is brand new and sealed and when I opened it there was a great booklet with pictures in. WOW what a bargain.

Last night I was looking at driving gift experiences for my birthday, it is something that I have wanted to do for ages especially since I have started driving. I was looking at the 4x4 off road on and then I was looking at the rallying one and I know for sure now I would pick the rallying one and maybe do the 4x4 another time. I did want one of these for my birthday girft but I think I better wait until I have had my lessons and passed my test as I might not be ready to take my test till the middle of November plus I also think that I should have more driving experience on the road first before I do anything so then I know a lot more about driving and what not so I think it is something I will buy for myself next year.

My dad did ask me if I stillfanciedd going to do some clay Pigeon shooting because I have been going on about that for as long as I can remember so I think I might pick that for my birthday as that would be something totally cool. I know I will really enoy that so that is a possibility for my birthday but there is still time to go so I could change my mind again though clay pigeon shooting is something I have wanted to do for a long time so I might not change my mind but we will have to see about that.

I'm sat listening to Linkin Park at the moment who I happen to think are amazing. I am after the album/live DVD that they did with Jay Z. I heard a lot of that on MTV a while back and I heard some of it again the other day soIi now have that on my CD want list that seems to be growing all the time. I think I am mainly going to be after CDs for Christmas now because I am after so many albums and am getting a bit bored with what I have got because I have listened to it all so many times now that it is time for something new and fresh for me to get my teeth into and listen to because I am a big music fan and I like to have music on a lot of the time but need something new and fresh for me to listen to as I am only getting something now and then and that isn't good.

I bathed Lucky which is and was a pain as he hates being bathed but he needed done and it wasn't as bad as normal. I am now waiting for him to drive so we can go to bed as he is still wet and it isn't fair on him for me to go to bed until he is a bit more dry. I have the fire on for him but he won't come and sit near it so he can dry, I washed him at 7:30ish and he is still wet because he is sitting way out of the way of the heat.

Anyway I shall go and get ready for bed and hope the dog drys soon as I am up early and need me sleep!!

It's all about soul

What a week it has been...been Miss Motivation this week and got so much done and been so tired and slept well :O)

I have pushed myself and kept myself truly busy this week and I really enjoyed being so busy and getting so much stuff done so I must and shall carry it on. I must admit there was a few times were I got a little distracted and sat down and messed on the net or played music but all in all I got ten times more done last week (if not more) than I get done in a average week.
It was tiring I must admit but it was nice to go to bed shattered rather than just tired, all I need to do now really is get myself to bed at a better time because I need my 8 hours a sleep now I am doing more, well maybe 9 till I get used to it. I tend to go on MSN and I keep saying to myself I will go at ten and then I will say I will go at eleven and I get into great chats with my friends and the next thing I know it is 1:30am. So my plan is not to go onto MSN as much and maybe if I do get off by 11pm at the latest so I can go to bed and sleep :O)

I did manage to make myself ill this week as I pushed myself and had two very late nights one after each other so one day I got pretty ill and that day I did nothing other than watch a couple of DVDs and had an early night and felt a bit better the next day and then did double the coursework and felt great the morning after!!

MISS MOTIVATION IS ME!!

This week I got a new multi region DVD player :O) I am so happy about it. I haven't had a working DVD player for months now and I am a massive film fan so I couldn't watch any DVDs as trying to watch Widescreen DVDs on here is rubbish as the picture ends up being so tiny :O( So not watched much other the last few months except some that have been on the TV. I had 13 brand new and sealed DVDs to watch and couldn't wait to watch them, some of the films I have seen but of course I still want to see them. I think since I got my new DVD player I have watched five, I was planning on watching one last night but I ended up on FC (Open University Site only accessible by OU software) chatting to Catherine and also posting some messages on YS (Young Students) a conference that I mod.
Then I ended up in a long conversation with Cat and didn't go to bed to after midnight and then I couldn't get to sleep which was a real pain so when my alarm went off this morning I was a little groggy lol.

Today has been good for me too, I have driven all over the place today and I love driving more than ever right now. I just want to drive all the time which can be a problem as my dad doesn't like people driving him around lol. I did about 35 miles today and I so want to get into the car right now and go out again but I can't :O(


Gotta go for now

Big Shot

As I sit here I am tired but it's all good as I am tired after a day of being busy :O)
I am almost 100% well again after a small lapse at the beginning of the week when I was so stressed out about a certain person who my life whom I wrote so happily about this time next week. Let's just say they aren't who I thought they were and I am glad I found out so soon rather than finding out down the line after something happened. It just goes to show that some people put on a front and run away from nothing and I am fine about that, it was another learning curve in life.

I had an amazing drive yesterday, I haven't been on my normal 30 mile Saturday drive for 2-3 weeks because of illness and late nights so I was happy to get up not too tired and not too ill so I could have my wonderful drive. There were some idiots on the road I can tell you that and it is a good job I really concentrate on the road because otherwise there would of been an accident one of the times. I can't believe some of the things that people do when they are driving and I had so many people cut across me when I was going down dual carriage ways.
I still enjoyed my drive. I get a strange feeling if I haven't driven for a few weeks - I feel like I may have forgotten something and worry if I should be driving or not but the second I set off it comes flooding back to me and I know what to do :O) I even found yesterday that a couple of my bad habits weren't there anymore and I had some how over come them from not driving which is always good.

Talking about driving, I start my driving lessons next month and I can't wait. I had 19 hours before and when I think about it I think I didn't get a full hour out of those 19 hours so I had less than ten hours. I know people will think driving with my dad is good practice but it isn't because I have picked up so many bad habits it's untrue and I spend a lot of the time trying to avoid arguments with him when he shouts for basically nothing. The only advantage I now have for driving a couple of hours on a Saturday is I am more confident on the roads and whereas before Roundabouts where hard for me I now breeze through them and you should of seen the reversing I did yesterday, I was like an old pro :O)

I've been cleaning all day and the house is starting to look good as I haven't been doing enough time on it so I got up and I did quiet a few hours cleaning today and I only finished stuff about 10 minutes ago before I came on here and started to write this.
I used to spend 30-60 minutes a day on the cleaning until maybe 6 weeks ago and I am planning on getting back into that from tomorrow as you can really tell that I haven't been spending much time on the house and it will take me a while to give it a good once over and once it is clean it will be 30-60 mins a day to keep up with it which isn't much at all. It would certainly help if I didn't have a messy dad and a dog who drops fur all the time.

From now on I need to get motivated as I am weeks and weeks behind on my reading for A207 so I need to work out which parts of that I can leave and what I need to read the most. I would love nothing more than to have the time to read it all but I don't have the time even though I am going to be super motivated and not waste as much time as I have been doing over the last few months. I am going to pick the five most important sections which are about 400-500 pages each and hope I have enough time to get through all that as it is hard going with tiny print and if I get through that I might have the time to have a quick look through other sections of the other books but we will have to see about that.

On top of that I need to catch up with my course work for A217 and work hard on that too as my final TMA for that is due in a couple of weeks and I am hoping to get my best TMA score to date with a Humanities subject.
I missed sending my last TMA in because I got really distracted and then I got rushed off my feet and then I got ill so I got an extension and I did a little bit and I got really ill and missed the deadline and now I will get a lower pass mark on the course which is a shame as I have worked hard and have been getting my best marks to date but I guess that is the way things go. So from tomorrow I shall be going through what I have to get through for my TMA and working out how I am going to go about it and then shall set a certain amount of time aside 5-6 days a week and get on with that and when it is finished I will give myself 3 days off and then work on my revision plan and work for a month on revising for the course for my exam :O)

I need to get more exercise done now too, while I am well I need to work on getting my fitness levels up because they are so poor and in bad need of improving a.s.a.p.
Everytime I work on them I have three good weeks and I start to make a bit of progress and then I get ill again so I am hoping I don't get ill or I am not ill for more than a few days so I can get back into it as soon as I can because I am too unfit. So I hope to get out with my dog at least once a day even if it is only for ten minutes, also I might go out more than once a day and see how things go but it depends on how lazy I am being and if I can motivate myself or not and if it is raining or not. But I think this time my motivation has had a serious kick and I am going to go for it and it will do me and my dog the world of good. - Once a week I am also hoping to get out for an hour long walk as well as the normal 10 minute walk too, that should help build up my fitness levels and get my heart pumping. I am also hoping to go on our old exercise bike once a week, at first it will kill me and I might only be able to do ten minutes but I want to get it up to 45 minutes once a week!!

Well I am hoping Miss Bignell will come up at the end of October, it will be really cool to meet her. I have been hoping to meet her for ages but as of yet it hasn't happened :O( So with some luck she will be up for my birthday meal. Also hoping to hang out for a couple of days if she can get the time off work. I am also hoping Mr Charles can come down for a couple fo days too, it would be great to meet him too and fingers crossed I am hoping my good friend Mr Eds can come up from Coventry for my birthday too. That would make everything really perfect for my birthday if I could have those three in town for that weekend :O)

A room of our own

WOW! What a week!! I have got next to nothing done and have been ill for most of the week :O(

Basically my head has been full with a certain person and I haven't been able to get anything done because this person is on my head. I had a tma to do that was due on Wednesday and I sat down to do it on Monday and found I needed 3 days to do it in and there was no way I would get it done as I got hold of my tutor and got an extra week with plans of me starting it. I never got round to starting it as my head was filled by someone who I hadn't told they were filling my head so it got to the point where I couldn't not say something so I said something and told them that they had been filling my thoughts.
You would think that emptied my mind a little to do some study but it didn't as I was wondering all day about what I had said to them and what they had thought to what I had said to them and this is getting a little confusing now lol. Anyway the next day I wake up and I plan on getting my TMA started but as the day went on I started to feel unwell so I got nothing done and the day after I was ill and then Friday I was ill and hadn't got much sleep the night before.
Friday I did plan on sleeping this illness off but I got distracted by thoughts of a certain person and ended texting them for a few hours before going onto MSN to talk to them for a couple of hours. When they went I had plans on going to bed for a few hours as I was totally shattered but I never got there as I decided to wait up for my tea which didn't come for a few more hours so at that point I thought I will have an early night and go to bed at 10pm but I never made it to bed until 5am this morning!!
Last night was messed up in some ways and I am still feeling from it, I don't know how I stayed up till that time but I know I feel like rubbish now and want to go to bed and sleep for like ten hours if I can. I slept maybe 4-5 hours and I feel every bit of it as I don't feel like I slept at all, it doesn't help one bit that I am ill as it wouldn't effect me as much if I was 100% well. I do feel better than I did yesterday (health wise) but the tiredness is making me feel unwell and I know it will keep me unwell if I don't get some serious sleep and soon!!

So back to the tma, I haven't started and I am hoping I will spend about 6 hours on it tomorrow as I need to and want to but it all depends on how I feel when I wake up. I hope I feel well enough and can get into it and have it sorted so I can work on it Monday and Tuesday and submit it on Tuesdsy evening. It wont be easy and is going to be a lot of work but I need to get it in and not blow this course which I will do if I don't get it done and I don't want all my hard work to be wasted!!
In three weeks I have my next TMA and the final one for this course but in the mean time I have five weeks of course work to get through in order to get it done.

The A207 course work isn't getting read and I am stressed. I need to get through as much as I can and think I won't do it in order and will pick a book a time depending on what I spent the least time on last year. I need to get myself into gear with that as I don't want another year wasted!! I do wish I didn't have to go through it all like I do as there is someone that I would rather be spending my time with, I just hope they understand why I have to put my course work and exams first. I have worked so hard and I don't want to blow it, I do feel I am going to blow it for my resit exam as I don't want to have to relearn the course but I know I have to for there to be a chance on me passing this time - this is my last chance and I hate that!!
If it was up to me I wouldn't do all this reading etc but I know with that attitude and lack of preparation I won't pass the exam and I have worked so hard over the years and it is what I have chosen so I need to stick to it and not let myselt get distracted!!

There is somewhere I would rather be right now and someone I would rather be with right now and if that person is reading this then they should know I am talking about them :O) All I will day is I am sat here with a massive smile on my face as I think about them. I hope I bring a smile to their face the way that they bring one to me :O)

Anyway I have to go and be bored lol

It's still Rock n Roll to me

I am so stressed right now and it isn't good for me. I have just taken on more than I can handle I guess and I am stressed and so tired :O(

Right first off I have to read about 400-600 pages a week of the course I did last year as I can't remember most of it and I have to do a resit as I have mentioned loads of times before on my blog.
Anyway I was meant to start doing it June and then I said July and I only started it last week and that is why I have to get through all those pages in the next 8 weeks. I wish I had started it months ago or even better than I didn't mess my exam up the way I did. I didn't like the course and found it more than hard going and know if I applied myself and did my revision I wouldn't have failed.
Right now I should be on the second block of the reading (there is 9 blocks) but I was ill all of last week and only managed to read 30 pages of the 400 I had to read. So I wanted to get that read by Friday at the latest and was planning to get at least 100 pages of it read tomorrow but those plans have well and truly gone out of the window now.
Anyway the exam is something like 9 weeks away and I need some revision time too so I have less than 8 weeks to get around 3600-4000 pages read. That is such a massive amount and as I stood under the shower tonight I thought I am going to have to try and do five hours a day reading 5-7 days a week in order to get it done. It might take longer than that as well because yesterday it took me an hour to read just under ten pages. The pages are almost A4 size and the print is tiny and it is doing my head in. - this is the only time I have to pass this exam and I don't want to blow it as I worked hard on the course and course work and passed that and all I need to do is pass the exam otherwise I will have wasted a year and it will put another year on my degree and I don't want that!! So I must apply myself and do five hours a day and that is going to take me time to get into but I don't have the time so from Wednesday I will be doing that for 5 hours a day and it will tire me out and I know it :O( It isn't just reading, it is academic reading and I have to take stuff in and I find that tiring and can't be anything else. I am not used to fives hours a day, I used to do three a day and I got out of that routine and need some routine again.

On top of that I still am on my current course and need to dedicate time to that too. I used to do four 3 hour sessions a week on it and when more time was needed I would give it more time especially around TMA (assignment) time. So I am hoping I can cut the sessions down and still keep up, I am hoping I can get away with 3 x 1 hour sessions a week and 2 x 2 hour sessions a week. One I have finished my course work and assignments for this course I have 3-4 weeks before the exam and must put serious revision in so will do a couple of hours 6 days a week for that time and hope that will be enough which I can see it will be.

Now as well as that I was meant to start my TMA today which is due in on Wednesday and can't be late. But last night I was still awake at 4am and was up early and have been too tired to do anything all day except for a little course work reading. I thought I will do my TMA tomorrow and either submit it tomorrow night or first thing on Wednesday morning. - I hadn't looked at that question/s at that point and when I did I had a shocked. I picked the one I thought I would do but then I looked at the guidance for the question and then decided I needed at least 3 days to do that at a rush so I picked the question I said I definitely wouldn't do because it seems to have the least to do for it. Don't get me wrong it isn't easy, but for the others I would have to go through most of the coursework again which could of taken days, as I still have loads of course work to go over to help me with the answer but I will be able to flick through it faster than I would be able to do with another question. I know it is going to be tough on me and I wish I have 2-3 days to do it in but I only have tomorrow so I must bite the bullet (to coin a phrase) and go for it tomorrow.
I am hoping my body doesn't keep me up all night again because being as tired as I am today won't help me to do anything. I am hoping to get my eight hours sleep and wake up really refreshed. I wish I didn't have to do the TMA but there is no choice and after I finish it I will take one day off from this course as my brain needs the break but also so I can then spend a full day on the A207 reading and see if I can get over 100 pages read in a day.

Stress huh?!! It is hard on me this and I must be mad by signing up to all the courses I have signed up for but I know if I make it through this then I can make it through anything academic. I am putting myself on the line here to get all this done and I am going to be tired and not wanting to do anything in the evenings other than chill out with music and chat to friends. I won't want to go anywhere and if I fall behind some of the things I like will have to be cut out till my exams are over in October.

Am I mad?!!

When my exams are over in the middle of October I am taking two full weeks off and shall be doing nothing to do with study!! One of my course starts in the middle of October but I won't be doing any of it and can (just) get away with it time wise. I will be pretty burnt out so I must take the two weeks off. Luckily for me the two courses I have taken on aren't humanities based and are technology and business studies so not taking on my brain the way that humanities courses are so I will have more time to do other things which I am happy about. I do hope to get the courses almost finished by the time I start my first level 3 course in Feb. The way I think or see it I know I will probably get most of the work done and will only need to do work around the time I must do TMAs for the courses so I can see myself having more time next year than I had this year.

I hope my friends hang on in there for me over the next two months as I won't be able to spend as much time online or spend anytime with them in person until this is over in the middle of October. I won't even have spare time for myself but I do get the feeling that they understand all the hard work I have to do and won't fall out with me. I do have some cool friends :O) They know who they are and they all mean something to me :O)

I am sweating now, with this typing and my brain trying to keep up with this lol. I think I might fall asleep fast when I go to bed at 1am so I should be ok with my study tomorrow.

I think I am a nutter or something because I have been listening to Queen a lot in the last few days and no that isn't why I am a nutter :op It is because I love the song "The show must go on" and I am playing it a lot, sometimes ten times in a row...lol. It must be the way that I feel at the moment as I haven't had a good couple of days because a now ex friend and the hurtful things that he has been saying to me. Oh well I guess we live and learn.

With all this stress in my life and too much hard work and not enough time and people stressing me out and hurting me there is something (other than my good friends) that is making me smile. hehe. I feel like a kid in a candy shop or something right now OMG! I can't say too much but there is someone in my life who I talk to on MSN and text etc who is making me smile. I never thought I would get on as well as I do with this person as I do. I get on with him big style and we can talk about alsorts of things and I enjoy their company. They have me smiling loads and in fact as I type this they are on my mind and well it is making me smile here :O) awww :op
I would love to spend sometime with this person but I don't have time and that gets to me because I want to spend some time with them but how can I with all I have on???????? :O( I just hope they are willing to stick around and wait till my exams are over! I would wait that long for them but would they wait that long to meet me? We will have to see I guess. I hope they want to meet me for a start :O) Why am I blushing? All I am doing it typing in my blog about someone yet I am all embarrassed lol Awwww :O)

Anyway I must go now because I need a drink. I hope a certain someone is online soon ;O) :O) hehe *smiles like a looney*

We didn't start the fire

Well I am sat here and I am VERY HAPPY!! I am happy because I got my course result for DD100 today and I PASSED!!

I PASSED!!

I am so happy about it as I didn't enjoy the course as much as I thought I would and I am not even sure if I quite get or understand Social Sciences. It is hard to say the least or maybe I just thought that because my assignment scores were pretty amazing - they amazed me that's for sure!!

So now I have a second set of letters to use after my name which is pretty cool and it makes all the hard work worth while. I am chuffed at passing DD100 and am glad I stuck with it after those times when I didn't want to do it.

I now need to concentrate on re-learning A207 for my resit in October as this will be my last chance to pass the course and I really don't want to blow it and mess up like I did last year.
I finally found book 1 and am starting to work through it though I am thinking a week a book won't be enough as each book is around 400 pages big and that is an awful lot of reading to do in a week but I am already behind and just have enough weeks to fit in one book a week and then will have about 3 weeks for revision. Wish me luck!!

A217 is going OK though I have half of this months reading to do and a TMA in less than a week. I have been ill since Sunday and I thought I would of been better by now but I'm not :O( so it is going to be tough getting it in on time but of course I will try my hardest. I am hoping tomorrow to feel a little better so I can spend a few hours on the course work. I will keep my fingers crossed as I really need to be feeling some better for tomorrow so I can get some done.

So yeah ill and happy is the mood for now. My head is banging :O( Grr being ill, I think it is this sudden change in weather as it went from being way too hot to being really cold and wet. But I do get ill every 4-6 weeks and was due to get ill but it never lasts this long but it seems to have a grip on me and I feel worse than I did yesterday, I just hope it doesn't turn into something a lot worse as I just don't have time for a illness.

I read a great Robert Rankin book a few days ago called The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag, it was amazing and such a great read. I loved reading it, it was so funny and I need to buy some more of his books when I have a little more money. I have one more of his books left to read and then nothing other than Terry Pratchett Books.

Anyhow I shall go :op