Tired, life and what is this all about?

I found out more and more people read this that I know so I am more limited to what I can and can't write on it.
I used to be able to write it like a diary but now with this site being part of my signature on FirstClass I can't use it that way to mention some people as there are some private things that I don't want to discuss on here now I know people are likely to read it so in some ways this isn't the outlet I once used it for.

I am so tired today, too tired in fact and it isn't because I stayed up all night talking because I didn't. It is because my dad went to his running clubs Christmas party and got rather drunk. All through the night he was going to the bathroom and to get to the bathroom you have to walk the full length of my bedroom. So he was walking or should I say stamping down past my bedroom at least 7 times during the night knocking all sorts of things over including a pair of metal steps which clashed down on the floor so loud I thought my dad had fallen over. There is no carpets down at the moment so it was very loud and I bet it woke the neighbours up.
So he kept waking me up, I don't have a clue what time he got home but I guessing he was one of the last to leave, I was in bed when he got home and I didn't bother to look at the clock each time he woke me up, just drove me mad.

I have had a lazy day today, Sunday is normally a lazy day for me, especially in this cold weather. There really isn't much to do though I sometimes wish there was. I guess I should of done some study today because I did plan on doing some but I guess that is what tomorrow is about :O)
I watched a film on demand and it was good and since then I have just lazed about, in fact I am still in my PJS, my new ones I got yesterday. I really love nothing more than sitting around the house in a pair of PJs, these ones are nice. I don't have any grannys ones before you say it, These aren't sexy but they are not granny-ish that is for sure.
I have been known to put PJs on after a shower if I know that I am not going out anywhere and if I am or I don't know I am and just decide to go out I can get dressed anytime.
I don't have enough pairs to sit around in all the time but I have two more now than I did yesterday morning though I will be throwing a pair of older ones out tomorrow which were my favorites for a long time but no longer since I got a brill pair about 6 weeks back.

I got all my Christmas cards posted yesterday which I am happy about. It took me ages to write them though as my mind went blank and I couldn't think who I was meant to be sending them too.
I also wrote the ones I don't need to post so they are all done now and out the way, all I need to do is hand them out :O)
Talking about Christmas I am having trouble with a present. I picked one for my mum and now I am having second thoughs about it but I don't know what to get instead for her and I am running out of time, I did want to get it next Saturday but I am clueless. I have got her a couple of CDs but I don't know what to get her as her main present...so any help anyone can offer would be great.

I am meant to be having my bedroom decorated in the New Year and I am stuck of what colour/s to go for. I don't want dark as my room is too dark with what I have now. I also want something warm to make it warmer but nothing tacky or horrible. I then need to pick a carpet, so it is ok if I pick any colour now as it won't clash with the carpet as there isn't one down at the moment.
I just don't know what to pick, I did want lilac but I changed my mind, so I am stuck with what to pick. I will be having pine furniture also so that could restrict the colour secheme I guess but I don't know what to have.

This room I am in now it looking totally amazing because of the new carpet and also this massive new desk. Those of you on YS have seen the desk as I put a link up in YS. The desk is an amazing desk and the only downside is it is slightly too high so my arms and shoulders are killing because of high the keyboard shelf is but my dad can drill some new holes so it can be moved down about 3 inches which won't be low enough but it can't go any lower. The mouse has to go on the shelf too as it is way too high on the top bit of the desk. Also the monitor can't go on the shelf it is meant to be on as it is too high there and hurts to look up at it.
Other than that I think it is a very nice desk that is very sturdy and could take a lot of weight, I don't think it is too high for some things...... :O))))

Anyway I think I have run out of things to say, or have I? Well I am sure I could sit here and type away for ages but there are certain things I can no l onger say because of who can read this...lol....I guess it is my own fault for putting it on my signature on FirstClass but I guess I could hint and someone who it is about would get it but then again I don't know that they will....hmmm...Anyway I have too much energy at the moment so I am going on the exercise bike in the morning till I can peddle it no more, so I am going to wear myself out on it and pound away at it for an hour or so depending on how fast and hard I do it ;O)

That's all folks!

I need to cut down now

All year I have barely spent any money on myself and have done with the basics. Just spending money on hair porducts and make up, toiletries.
So about 2 months ago I decided that I am sick of not spending money on myself because I have gone without things I have wanted for a long time so I started spending like mad. Well not mad but I started getting DVDs, CDs and books I wanted. Not a lot but I spent a few hundred pounds on things I wanted.
Then we got a NEXT store card and I love NEXT clothes so I spent £500-600 in the store on the card, I also owe them money from buying stuff online. Then today I went in to NEXT as I wanted some gloves, new purse, a bag, a 2006 diary and some new PJs as I live in PJs a lot of the time when I am at home.
So I am walking round the store trying not to buy any clothes as there is so much lovely clothes in there but it is pointless me buying any because I am losing weight atm without even trying too hard so after spending all that money on clothes 6-8 weeks ago I didn’t think it would be the best idea to spend more seen as in a months time they will be too big.
Anyway I fell in love with a watch and bought it because I am sick of wearing my DKNYy watch because it is rather heavy and it is getting little scrathes over it so it doesn’t look as good as it once did :O( and I can’t get another one yet, will do in the new year.
The watch I got is great, it is white leather with a huge face on it with diamontes all the way around and a few on the face of the watch. I love the watch and I want another one from there so I have a choice of what to wear.
I also bought some lovely soft black leather gloves, a leather purse, 2 pairs of cami top PJs, a diary and pen set but I didn’t get a bag and that isn’t because there wasn’t one I liked.
There is one I have but they have it in this lovely dull-ish matallic red colour (you need to see it to get the colour), I have the bag in black. It is a massive “slouch bag” as it is called and I wanted to get it so much. But I thought I don’t even use my black one anymore and should at least use that first before I go and get one the same.
Then I saw another bag and fell in love with it, I can’t even describe it because my words wouldn’t do it justice. I then saw it was £100 and i thought about it but that is a lot of money for a bag and one I wouldn’t use that much, just now and then. If I was going to use it a lot I would of gotten it.

The thing it my monthly bill for NEXT is massive and I still want to get more from there so I need to stop spending so much at NEXT till I have paid off at least half of the bill.

See more progress on: stop spending so much money

My picture

I hate having my picture taken for these things. In fact I have some pics from two years ago that I had left from last time and I am thinking about using them….lol
Though if i am honest I don’t look like them anymore. When I had them taken I was really ill and you can see it in my face as I look like a totally different person. I have that picture on my provisional driving lic’ and I use it as ID and a lot of people don’t think it is me. I just hope when I pass my driving test I can use a new picture as that one is horrid.
I don’t know when I will have my pictures taken but it won’t be few a while yet as I don’t need the passport yet, as long as I have it by next summer I will be happy enough and by then I should be able to get my proper driving lic’ so I will need my pictures done and will get them done then.

See more progress on: get a passport and use it!

I have stopped reading

The only things I am reading atm are things I need to read. Things like the course books of the course I am doing now and a few other things that I must read.
Other than that I am not reading anything or any of my books as I need to be able to do 100 in 2006. It will be hard and I am going to include course books, I don’t know how many I will have. I think I will have up to 30 course books but no more than that until October next year when I start another course so that might add up to 10 more books. That still leaves 60 other books. I realise this is going to be hard as I might not have time to read with everything else I am planning to be doing next year but I think when I go out I will take a book with me as long as I have a big enough bag for it. Like a novel or something as long as my bag is big enough. So if I have 5 miniutes here and there I can have a read.
It is 2 books a week and I am more like a book a month girl but I know I can do it. My friend is getting me a box set of books for xmas, it is 4 Dan Brown books. I have read two of them but I plan to re-read them two as well and I am planning those 4 to be the first four of the month. Also a book called “A Bridge Across Froever”. That is a friend of mine’s Fav book and I am saving it till Jan to read as well as another book I have. So I have 6 books planned for Jan as well as course books so I may get ahead of target (fingers crossed) in the first month. I think it will be good to be ahead because there might be some weeks when I am way too busy to keep up or read much.

See more progress on: read 100 books in 2006

I am too unfit for my own good

I had a appointment today and I was running late, like normal, amd I couldn’t be late or more than five minutes late so I walk as fast as I can to get there.
I don’t think that I have walked so fast my whole like and I had no energy as I haven’t stopped much for the last three or four days and last night I only had 4 hours sleep.
By the time i got to where I was going I was breathless but not out of breath, I couldn’t get to that from just walking but I managed to do the walk a lot faster than normal and I think it did me the world of good.
I walked slower home as I had no energy, must have more for breakfast in furture I think as I ran out of fuel…lol
But no fitness levels are sooo bad, I am on a mission now to improve them over the next 6 months to where they should be.
There is no overnight cure to these things, just time and hard work and I am willing to put in the time and hard work!

See more progress on: become more active

I am never on time

It is really bad and a pet hate of mine. I really hate being late for things and it is always one reason or another why I am late.
I sometimes can faff around and not do things very quickly and stand/sit around doing nothing when I should be getting ready. I am so bad about getting ready, I know how long it takes me to get ready and I start to get ready with enough time to be ready to leave but some how I can get distracted so easily and not do things for ages so then I am rushing around trying to get ready and then I always leave the house later than I should and then I am rushing to get there on time and never make it.
I am never really badly late like 30 minutes late but I am anywhere from 5-20 minutes late most of the time. I think a couple of minutes is far but I shouldn’t keep people waiting round for me.
My dad is always late for things so that is who I get it off, I actually make him earlier than he would normally be when I am with him but still late.
So I need to sort this out, well start and try to get to places earlier. Even get there early would be good.

See more progress on: Be on time

I basically live alone as it is

I live at home with my dad but it isn’t like living at home with your parents.
I rarely see my dad as he goes out mostly before I get up in the morning, he comes in for up to an hour around 6pm and then he goes out until 10:30-1am so I never see him at all.
It does feel like I live alone at times, I don’t know if I could live alone because I feel safer knowing my dad is asleep across the hall way….i bet that is really stupid of me but when he goes away I am more worried at night time though the last few times he went away it didn’t really bother me at all.
I do everything for myself and I have done since i was about 12 so I am house trained and wouldn’t struggle if I moved out.
I hope it is sometime in the next 12 months that I can spread my wings and fend for myself and move out. I just feel like I have out grown my dad in some ways like I shouldn’t be living at home now. I know it is different for every person but I have gotten to the stage where I want to move out and live in another town or even county. I feel if I stay round here I will be tempted to come home again and I fancy a change of scene because I have lived in Blackburn for 12 years now and 3 years when i was younger.
I don’t know where I will go to be honest, I was going to apply for uni for next year but so much went on this year I didn’t think that it was the best idea for me to do so I will not be applying for uni.
But when I do move out I want to either share a house with someone or live with a BF, that is if I have one.

See more progress on: Move away from home

My bike - ride my bike more!

I used to love going on bikes when I was younger. In fact I was always out on my bike when i was growing up, it was like my freedom away from the world kind of thing.
I loved riding round on my bike and i was never off it when I was outside.
I then got rid of my bikes because I wanted to save up for a drum kit. I so missed my bikes when I sold them and wish I hadn’t.
Then I heard that my brother was selling his and I really wanted it so I dropped loads of hints to my dad and he bought it for me and I was so happy.
I went on it in the back garden for about 5 minutes and I haven’t really been on it since…lol…and that was years ago.
It is stuck in the laundry room now cluttering the place up and my dad has been on it once because he has his own bike and mine just sits there day after day, week after week etc amd it isn’t the best bike in the world but it is like new and I can’t buy myself a new one if I am not going to use it.
So I really need to get out on my bike and see what i am really missing, because I haven’t been on a bike for the longest time I don’t miss it like I used to so I know I need to get on it.
But I won’t be doing that at the moment as it is way too cold, but I do plan on going on it and using it because I really want to and it will also help me get fitter and become more active which I want.
I now need to buy a helmet before I go on it too as i don’t want to go on it and then get run over or fall off it and bang my head, will be much safer for me to have a helmet.

See more progress on: ride my bike more

I think I am a little mad picking this

But I like a challenge. I would say this is a challenge and a half to be honest but I am up for it when I get over the fact I said I will do it.
Why did I pick this as one of my 43 things?
I don’t know, I just was thinking about what I want to do and I thought of this. It isn’t like 10K is far, 6.2 miles in fact. Oh miles, that makes it sounds worse. 10K sounds much better to me,....haha
If I had put a marathon then I know I am crazy as I don’t want to do one of them but who knows, once I get into running I might just want to do a marathon so I can say I have done one but a step at a time I think so here is my first step :O)

See more progress on: run a 10K

BRR

As I keep saying I need to do it well next week I start as I have my TMA out the way (I will do) and will have time to spend on it.
I don’t know how to go about it or how to start but I will ak on a conference on the OUs First Class site and see what they suggest. I should of done this ages ago now but I just haven’t had the time but I have the most time I will have now before my next course starts in Jan.
So I am hoping to have a pretty good site done by the end of the month, it doesn’t have to be the best site just something basic to begin with and see how it goes.

See more progress on: Learn how to build a website from the beginning

DD100

Is very interesting but I am behind on it and had to do a mad catch up on it so I didn’t soak up too much of the information so when I have come to do my TMA I don’t know enough to do it and am struggling but then again there is a lot going on in my mind at the moment that is keeping me distracted.
It was meant to be finished and posted today as it is due in on Tuesday but I never got round to doing it (well finishing it) so I am going to do it over the weekend (tomorrow) and then send it first thing Monday morning and hope and prey that it gets there for Tuesday as I don’t want to fail because it isn’t there on time.

See more progress on: complete my degree

I really want one!- a digi cam that is ;O)

I don’t have one and never have had one and I want one so much. I take all my pictures on my phone but I don’t have the cable for my computer with this phone so I have to email them to myself. I think I will buy the cable though as I have to have this phone for a while longer before I can update.
I use my dads cam too as his phone picture quality is a little better than mine but it isn’t the same as having a digital camera.
I offered to buy my mums off her the other day as she paid £70 for a brand new one which is worth over £300 so I really want it. She never uses it and I don’t think it has even been out of it’s box so I think she shoud either sell it to me or give it to me.
I did some heavy hinting at her about wanting one and she was like “why do you want one” and I said to take pictures and she wanted to know what of. erm mum everything …lol
Why else would I want a camera? To take pictures off nothing? I bet she never asked my brothers what they were going to take pictures of when they bought the same camera at the same time as her because they were so cheap. I just wish I had £70 at the time because I would of gotten one too.

If she doesn’t sell it to me then I guess it is something else I will need to save up for.

See more progress on: get a digital camera

I'm starting to plan my travels for next year

I just hope nothing comes up between now and then so I can stick to my plans :O)

I am planning on starting my travels in about April/May time and carry on till the end of July. Of course I won’t be away from home all that time but those are the months when I want to be going places and seeing my friends.

I don’t know what order I am going to do them in but I am almost decided on who I am going to visit and the places I am going to go to.

I know the first on my list and maybe a couple of visits during the year will be to see my closest friend, Pete. I haven’t seen him in ages so I will be going to see him. Probably April time for as long as he can put up with me for….lol

I am looking forward to it all now and I am starting to dave up for it all.

See more progress on: travel more

Money

The other week I got a bank statement and I was shocked at how much money I had in the bank. I have never had that much ever in my bank so it was a nice shock I guess.
Then last Friday I got a mini statement out of a cash machine and in 2 short weeks I have managed to spend 90% of what I had saved up.

It is Christmas though so I have been out buying presents for people and have nearly got all the presents I have planned to get. All I need to get is one for Pete and go halves with my dad for my niece and nephew when we decide what to get them.
Oh and my mum, I have a couple of things for her but I need to get her a main present and I am clue-less of what to get her. I have the money, it isn't included in the money I have in the bank.

The rest of the money has gone on me. I haven't been able to spend much on myself all year round so in the last month I have been treating myself a little but not too much. For the money I have spent I have gotten a lot of things. I have mainly got CDs, DVDs and a few books. Nothing major at all.
Oh and I also bought some things from LUSH, it cost a fair bit but we don't have a LUSH here so I like to stock up. I haven't had anything from LUSH for ages now so I got a few of each of my favs and I also got myself one of those boxes. I keep forgetting which one but it has a lot of my fav items in.
I'm going to be buying myself the think pink set next which I am hoping to buy next week and I am sure it will keep me very happy for a while.

I am normally shower girl but when I have LUSH products I have more and more baths because LUSH are so amazing :O)

Well....

this is the second attempt at posting something on here as last night I sat here and wrote something but then when I went to set it the screen froze on me.

So here I go again. I know it won't be the same as the one that I wrote last night but it is a post notheless.

I was so tired yesterday because the night before I didn't get to bed till going up for 5am and then I got up before 9am. I did plan on going to bed for an hour some point in the morning but I never got round to it because I got on the computer and spent the say replying to emails off various people. I was sat here for 10 hours straight. I then had to get up and do a few things as I was stiff and had a headache.
I had a break for a couple of hours and then came back on till about just after midnight as I couldn't keep my eyes open and kept forgetting what I was talking about.

I must of slept for about 10 hours last night but I must of needed it otherwise I wouldn't of slept that long. My arms and fingers are still hurting a fair bit from yesterday but there are not too bad.

Today is catch up day as I am meant to be starting my TMA tomorrow which has to be finished for Friday evening.
So I have been sat here since about lunch time reading and listening to audio CDs as I sat and replied to emails and chatted a bit.
I now have about 10 pages in one book to finish and about 40 in another book to read and then watch a DVD but that should be do-a-ble tonight. I will finish one book and read some of the other and then I am going for a nice long bath.
Then I will finish the book and watch the DVD. I think I am only watching one program on the DVD so that shouldn't take too long to do :O)

not really been anywhere

Just the UK and saying that I haven’t even seen much of the UK but I am planning on changing that in 2006 as I am planning on seeing more of the UK.
I think I will visit my friends in the UK and as they live in different areas of the UK it will be good as then I will get to see more of the UK.
I’ve never been to any of the places my friends live so this should be good fun too.
I am also planning on going abroad sometime next year, even if it is for a week I am going. I will probably be Spain or something but it is better than nothing at all.

See more progress on: travel more

Sport

i really want to take up a sport. In fact it might be tennis as I have always wanted to do that but not in this weather.
Also I am not very good at ball games where you have to hit a ball as I never watch the ball and just watch the person throwing or hitting it to me.
I don’t know anyone who would want to play with me so it would be rather pointless trying to take a sport up that requires two people.
I do want to ice skate (seperate goal) and I guess that is classed as a sport.
Is bike riding a sport?
Walking?
breathing? ... lol

See more progress on: Take up a sport

Still got up at 9:30

Though I didn’t go to bed till after 4am this morning and was still awake at going up for 5am.
I am tired but the longer I am awake now the less tired I feel. I’m just eating my breakfast and it is making me feel a little more human which is good. I might go and lie down for an hour but at least I managed my no later than 9:30 get up.
It seems when I plan on having a early night I don’t…lol

See more progress on: Get up earlier each day

Well I did it last night

I went to bed about 1am this morning and when my alarm went off at 9:30 I got up even though I was probably awake till 2am last night but I still got up.
I will be in bed by 1am again tonight so I shouldn’t see this thing being too much of an issue for me.

See more progress on: Get up earlier each day

want to get up before 9:30 each day

That is my goal for the coming week I think. It is easy, well it should be. Say I go to bed between the times I like to them this getting up earlier should be easy.
I like to go to bed between 11:00pm and 1:30 am so even if I go to bed at 1:30 ….9:30 should be do able it I just set my alarm 8 hours from when I go to bed.

Now and then I don’t mind getting up later but for the most the morning is wasted if I get up at like 10:30. Not that I always get up at that time.
My normal times are 9:30-11:00 depending on when I go to bed but that is all about to change.

See more progress on: Get up earlier each day

I need to get up earlier

But that also means I need to go to bed earlier too.
I need 8 hours sleep each night and I like to set my alarm for 9 hours after I go up to bed. I do that because I can take ages to fall to sleep and I sometimes read or write things down like in my diary before I lie down which takes up an hour including falling asleep.
Anyway I want to get up at like 8:30 every morning so that would mean bed at 11:30pm and I don’t think I can do that…lol
Well some nights I could but nights when I am in a chat on MSN I might stay up later.
From now on I will try to have earlier nights and then get up at a nice early time in the morning with 8 hours sleep :O)

See more progress on: Get up earlier each day

Confidence it lacking

My confidence is lacking more than ever and it is down to my past and how I have been treated esp by one of my ex boyfriends who I was with for three years.
I am a lot better than I was but my confidence is really lacking and I want to work on it so I am a more confident person.
I don’t do things I want to because of my lack of confidence and I know if it was higher I would do so many more things that I have wanted to do over the years.
I want to walk down the street with my head held high and look at people as I walk by instead of looking at the ground so I guess that is my first goal in becoming more confident.

See more progress on: be more confident

Great!

I went to my first concert back in 2003 to see Bon Jovi.
I was ill that day with a migrain which got worse in the heat of one of the hotest days of the year and I was ill for three days afterwards but it was more than worth it to see Bon Jovi.
I can probably only remember 25% of the concert but what I can remember was totally amazing.
The point that sticks out most in my mind is on Bad Medicine the crowd sang louder than the band and JBJ and in the end the band and Jon gave up singing and we did the singing. We were so loud we couldn’t even here the music so I hope we kept in time with the band. They let that song go on forever because of how much the crowd enjoyed it.
Was fantastic and I have just gotten tickets to see them at Wembley next June and I really can’t wait to see them.

See more progress on: go to a concert

I am a water baby

I love water and my parents used to have to drag me out the water when I was little.
In fact I am a mermaid but don’t tell anyone because it is a secret ;O)
I have wanted to scuba dive for a while now and the heat in this country puts me off a bit as it will be rather cold in the water :O(
But it is something that I want to do so I guess I should go for it, maybe next summer as there is no way I am going to do it in this weather ;O) plus I think it might be better in a different country but it doesn’t mean that I can’t learn to Scuba Dive in this country.

See more progress on: learn to SCUBA dive

Now saving up for

Well I have concert tickets to see Bon Jovi as Wembley Stadium next year and I am so looking forward to it, in fact I can’t wait but as the days go by it gets sooner.
It is on the 11th June 2006 and we got the tickets about a month ago when they went on sale. In fact I wanted tickets for Manchester as well but all the best seats sold out and they didn’t have anything left I wanted.
So we are off to Wembley and they are the first band to play at the new Wembley so we will be one of the first people to see the new Wembley in and out and I am so excited about it.
We are booked into the Wembley Plaza and that is going to cost me about £400 maybe more but we won’t know until new year when their price list comes out for then.
I am also planning on flying down there to save the driving because we are going to be using public transport when we are down there anyway so we might as well fly down there.
I think it is about £69 return with BA and I have never been on a plane before so this is a new experience for me and I can’t wait. The flight is only 50 minutes long too which is great as then we are not traveling for hours which I hate as I am the worst traveller ever and get sick.
We are going down for 3 days so I can’t fit too much in and I have to decide on a couple things I want to do the most whilst I am down there because we won’t have the time to do what I want to do because there is so much I want to see and do because I have never been to London before.
I know I want to go shopping ;O) and maybe go on the London eye but that will all we have time for. Also a nice meal out somewhere on our first night down there as the next night we will be at the concert and the night after we will be back home.
Well my dad will be flying home, I am hoping to get on a different fight to my dad and go and visit a friend for about 5 days before flying home but I have to check with my friend if that is ok. If it isn’t then I will fly back up to Manchester and then maybe get a train to see a different friend instead.
So before I planned on going to see a friend I wanted at least £1000 but more like £1200 but if I go and see a friend I guess that goes up to about £1600 now and maybe more depending on who I am going to be seeing. £1800 max and £1500 minimum.
So wish me luck as I might need it….lol

See more progress on: Save up

Got enough for xmas

well more than enough so I spent xtra on my dad :O) I still have more things to get but I have the money and I have loved spending it too.
I have almost everyones presents now except Pete’s (CF) and another friends though I have a few things I want to get them one more thing.
Then I need to get my niece’s and nephews gifts and I think that is it.
I bought loads of xmas cards yesterday that cost me a small fortune but that is because i bought individual cards for some people as I don’t want to send them one out of a pack. I also bough a couple of packs and some of them are rude ;O) so I better be careful who I send them too.

See more progress on: Save up

How many?

I have been asking friends how many lessons they had and I am shocked at how many they had to have before they passed their test.
I so wanted to do it in less than 20 but I don’t know if I will be able to do it but I hope so. I am hoping to pick it up really quickly and need less than 20 but I don’t know how this is going to go for me.
My brother had 4 lessons and passed his and I know there is no way that I can do it in 4.
I don’t want to go for my test till I am ready for it but I don’t know how much to trust the driving instructor because they might say you need more so you buy more lessons.
I am going to be learning with BSM, I have decided that and there is one in Blackburn so it is all good. I just hope they are good and I hope I get a really good instructor.
Less than 20 lessons would be brilliant, and less than 15 I would be over the moon about so we shall see how things go.

See more progress on: learn to drive

well

I had to drop the LLB as I couldn’t cope with 200 points at the same time.
I can still become a solicitor another way but I would of liked to have done the LLB.
I am thinking of starting again next September and doing the degree fast track. So I can do it in 2 years. I don’t know how I would cope with that and know it would be hard work but I guess I could take a couple of years break from the OU and do it otherwise do the 3 year full time but I would prefer to do it 2 fast track but will see how I feel in 9 months time when I need to apply. I would love to know what it entailed thats for sure.

See more progress on: have three degrees

I still want to go....

and I still hope it will be next year but I will have to see how everything goes between now and then and I am sure if I don’t get to go next year it will be the year after that for sure.
I have gotten passport appication forms here and I was going to send them off but I need the money for something else which is a shame as passports go up in three weeks time and they are trying to get the price higher again so I hope I get one before they are too expensive.

See more progress on: go to Italy

DD100

Well I am about 5/6 weeks into my new OU course and it is going ok.
I passed the first TMA and I am very happy with the mark, in fact I am over the moon about the mark because I rushed through the course work and then the TMA.
I know if I would of spent longer on the TMA I would of gotten a higher mark so I shall remember that for the next time.
I am falling behind on the course work and I must catch up my next TMA is due in like 2 weeks.
As of yet I can’t say if I am enjoying the course as I have hardly done any so we shall see how it goes.

See more progress on: complete my degree

I have wanted to for ages now

I have had my provisional license for 2 years now and have only ever used it as ID…lol
I really want to learn now. Someone said to me that it is one of the best things you can learn to do because it makes able to do more things – gives you freedom.
I think I have wanted other things more over the last few years and I probably still want other things but I think now is the time for me to learn to drive and because I am a student I get a bit of a discount, it isn’t much but every little bit counts.
I am going to ask my dad for lessons this Christmas and see how many he buys me. I want him to buy me about 8 but I will see how things go between now and then.
I really need to pass my theory first so I think I am going to have my head stuck in the High Way code over the next few weeks.

See more progress on: learn to drive

I need to do more things

I am really too unfit for my own good and I really need to get something done about it because I really don’t like being this unfit.
I don’t walk to college twice a week now because I had to quit because I took too much on so that was the highest exercise level of the week gone out the window.
I want to learn to ice skate and tap dance but before I can do it I know I have to get fitter otherwise it will tire me out early on into the lesson/s.
I don’t like the weather at the moment, well the rain I guess and try to avoid going out if it is raining.
But I was thinking on the days it doesn’t rain I can go for a walk with my dog and as I get fitter I can go further and walk faster so I get my fitness levels up.
Even if I only manage it once or twice a week it is better than now I guess.

See more progress on: become more active

Took my exam for A207

I didn’t revise for it and I should of done but for some reason I didn’t.
I thought I would sit through the exam bored for the 3 hours not being able to write anything.
I was amazed when I saw the questions and was writing for 3 hours straight which was a goal in itself as I have never managed to sit still still for 3 hours let alone write for 3 hours. About 30 minutes before the end I did stuggle with writing because I had cramp in my hand and also my brain wasn’t working as well as it should of done so it I wrote any rubbish during the exam it was in those last 20-30 minutes.
I managed to fill a full answer book as well and was just about to ask for another one when I ran out of time so I guess I didn’t do too bad as far as the writing went as no one else got another answer book.
One of the answers I picked was a bit of a gamble because I didn’t study the area the question was on and skipped it because I was behind and didn’t need to do it. But I did read through it quickly once or twice so I am hoping something stuck though too much didn’t.
I enjoyed the exam and came out of it buzzing and happy but I don’t know if I will pass because of the no revision thing and because most of the course I rushed through because there was so much to do so I don’t know what I took in.

Before the exam I thought I would fail and wasn’t bothered if I did so I didn’t revise but now I am. If I just pass I will be happy as I am not looking for a high mark. I don’t get the result to December now so we shall see.

See more progress on: pass my university courses (all of them!)

Stake

I have always wanted to learn how to ice skate and I have bever done anything about it.
In fact I have not been skating in years because I hurt my knee and the more years that have gone by have made my fear grow so me just going to a ice arena would be a miracle for me at the moment.
I want to go a few times to get over my fear of going before I have some lessons. My only problems is I don’t know anyone who would want to go with me and I don’t want to go alone when I first go.
In the new year I am hoping to start having lessons and I can’t wait.

See more progress on: Have Ice Skating Lessons

here I am

just incase you were wondering where I was and why I haven't bothered posting in a while.... well it hasn't been that long from what I remember *goes to check last date I posted on* Oh the last proper one was a month ago.

 

Lately I haven't gotten much done via any of my blogs or sites because I have been spending too much time on here, well MSN talking to friends of mine. I think I have gotten a bit of an addiction to it but with some luck I will snap out of it. I don't mean that in a bad way like I don't want to talk to my friends, I mean it in the way I should realise when enough is enough and get to bed.

I have been staying on MSN till 4am most nights and it is really starting to take its toll on me now and not just with my body but everything else in my life so I really do need to start to get things back in order and stop staying on till 4am.

I have been mainly staying on with Shaun....oh I haven't mentioned him before have I?  ;O)  ... ha...

Well I met Shaun on the Young Students conference on a Site Called FirstClass that all Open University Students have access to. He rarely posts in there so I didn't really get to know him via that, it was more from seeing him online and inviting him into a chat with some of the others that post on Young students, we all went over to MSN that night and got to know each other better. During that chat myself and Shaun had our own little private chat going where we started to get to know each other better. It was nice and I liked him from then onwards I guess, I liked the things he said and his thoughts on things. We ended up chatting to about 4am before I managed to drag myself away from him and get to my bed.

 

Since then myself and Shaun have had a lot of nights like that, it seems when we get on together on MSN we can never get off even when both of us have no intentions of staying on late. I think the latest we have stayed on is 4:30 and the earliest we have left is about 2am.

 

Anyway I will post more about Shaun at a later time.

 

 

As I said above these late nights are really getting to me because I am not getting up till lunch and then it makes me tired for the rest of the day because I have been up all night on here.

I don't get much done no-a-days because of it and the routine I was building up has gone out the window. I had a routine for my study (not a time-table) and for other things and responsibilities that I have and it has gone out of the window. I am going to try to get back into it but it is really hard and I don't know how to go about it to be honest. I did try to get back into a study routine but it is hard and is going to take some time to get back into one.

 

I like to be in bed between 11pm and 1:30am so from now on I am going to try to do that, I don't mind the odd late night but I can't keep doing it everynight.

 

 

 

Boyfriend Application

Boyfriend Application

Name:
Age:
Place of residency:
Why do you want to fill this out?
What do you think about me?
What was your first impression of me?
Do you still feel that way?
Do you want to kiss me?
Do you like to cuddle?
If you had the choice of either going out and hanging with your friends..... Or spending the night with me, what would you choose?
Pick one word to describe me:
What reminds you of me?
On our first date, where would you take me?
If your favourite Sport/Television show was on... but so was mine and we only had one TV... would you let me watch what I wanted, or what you wanted?
If I was wearing really ugly clothes, would you still show me off to your friends?
Are you controlling?
Are you FUN?
Do you fall in love easier than most?
Do you have sex?
Do you get depressed easily?
Pick a random colour, doesn't have to be your favourite:
What do you spend most of your time doing?
What are your future goals?
Do you smoke cigarettes?
Do you drink?
Do you do drugs?
Do you drive?
Are you spontaneous (if so give an example)?
Would you buy me stuff?
Would you send me flowers sometimes?
Would you let me play my music in the car.... even if you hated it?
Favourite music, top 5 bands?
Are you an emotional guy/girl but can remain stable?
Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic?
Do you live up to your first impressions?
Did you lie on any part of this?
Are you trying to impress me?
Anything you would like to tell me that I don't know yet?
So why would u want to go out with me???(cant be the same answer as "what do u think of me"
Now pick a word... the first word that comes to mind and write it here:
If you cant be arsed with all that then just declare your intention below

my birthday/xmas list

I have finally put my Birthday/Christmas list together of what I want and here it is though it may change slightly as I might add or take off items.

I have put prices with some of them and which site they are on as the ones with the prices are the cheapest I have found.

 

 

Bon Jovi Sound and Vision - CROSSROAD - (Deluxe sound and Vision) - £18.99 on www.play.com

 

Shrek 2 and enemy of the state (Special Edition) - 2 DVDs for £12 - www.play.com

 

Cool Water by Davidoff

 

Hypnotic Poison by Dior

 

Bon Jovi Crush Tour - DVD - £6.97 - www.amazon.co.uk

 

Little Britain series 2 - £12.99 - www.amazon.co.uk

 

Desperate Housewives Season 1 - £29.99 - www.amazon.co.uk - though might be cheaper elsewhere

 

Bon Jovi - Live From London - DVD - £6.97 - www.amazon.co.uk

 

Abba Gold by ABBA - £24.99 - www.amazon.co.uk - though might be cheaper elsewhere

 

The Joshua Tree by U2 - £7.97 - www.amazon.co.uk

 

Wide plate ceramic straighteners - Remington or GHD

 

Pair of Timberland boots

 

Pair of trainers - not decided on a pair yet

 

Think Pink bath product set by Lush - £39.95 - www.lush.co.uk

 

You're A Star bath product set by Lush - £29.95 - www.lush.co.uk

 

 

That is my list for now but as I said above I am likely to change some of it and add to it. The items are in no particular order. But the first six items I will definitely want a lot. I should put them in order of what I want the most but right now I can't be bothod.

Well here it is

I am having such a great time at the moment and I know you may wonder how that may be with all the studying I am doing but that is what I am enjoying so much - crazy? I must be ;O)

 

Well I went to my introduction meeting for my Law Degree and filled out loads of forms for the UNI of Glamorgan and for ELIHE. We was told about the course and what we have to do etc including how many lessons we have a week.

We are in twice a week for four hours a time - that will be taxing on my brain but I am sure we will have a couple of breaks. I know that most of the people on the course was lead to believe (like I was) that the course will be 6pm till 9pm twice a week but it is 5pm - 9pm now. A lot of people work so they weren't happy about that but hopefully they will be able to make it to class in time and not miss any.

There is about 20 in our class - maybe a few less - and there is equal amounts of females to males or there abouts and no one is over 40. Most of the class look to be around my age (I don't know for sure as I didn't go round asking peoples ages).

The course is four years long and it is about £650 a year which isn't too bad, would be a lot more if the course was full time though I wouldn't want to do it full time.

We have to pass 40% on all the assignments and exams otherwise it is a fail and you are allowed to re-sit the exams twice more to pass but after that you can't really carry on with the course. So I am hoping and preying I can get over 40% on everything. I should be able to do so but I won't know until I get my first assignment.

We have our first lot of exams in May and we sit two - WOW! That is really early on in the course but I guess that is the way it works.

You can take up to 6 years to do this course but of course I want to do it in four but there is always that option there if something happens - you can take a year off.

I couldn't even get a grant to help pay the course fees either because I am a Open University student so the course had to be paid for by my dad and I have to pay at least half back to him in monthly amounts. I am so glad he paid for it as I want to do a Law degree so much. I did however tell him that if he didn't think I could do it not to agree to pay for it. He said his only problems is he thinks I have taken too much on and I agree with him there. It isn't the law that is too much, it is what I have taken on with the OU. I have taken on 120 points and the Law course is 80 points a year so I will be doing 200 points which really isn't recommended.

At the moment I am revising for A207 which is driving me round the bend - my exam is in 3 weeks today and I haven't learnt anything from the revision even though I spend up to 5 hours a day revising.

I start DD100 when my course material arrive and that carry's on till June next year but I am hoping to get it all into the next four months - well all the course material and at least 4 of the TMAs for now.

Then in Feb next year I start A217 which is Religion which I think I should be ok with as I have done Religion twice now with two courses so I am hoping I can get away with an hour a day on that. That course carry's on till October 2006 when it finishes with an exam.

The Law Degree course finishes in June-ish time and I am hoping there is no study to do for that over the summer holidays so then I can concentrate on A217 and revise for the exam before starting my second year of the law degree.

I know I am taking too much on and something will give but I am hoping that if I study hard and long that I won't need to quit any of the courses because I really want to do them all and wouldn't be able to pick which one to quit.

It wouldn't be the Law degree for the fact that my dad has paid for it and I have to pay him back and it probably won't be the religion course because it goes towards my Humanities degree and is my last level 2 course (if I pass A207) and I can then carry onto level 3. I am hoping I don't have to quit Social Sciences either as I am paying for a third of the course and because I am doing the certificate in Social Sciences.

If I  make it through them all next year I will be doing 90 with the OU instead of 120.

 

Anyway I think I have gone on enough here for now so I am off to revise!

 

 

GOOD NEWs

Well I got accepted onto the Four Year LLB (HONS) LAW course.

And I am more than HAPPY about it.

 

I did go through some doubt about whether or not I would get on it but I got on it and I am over the moon.

 

Now I have to wait and see if I can get financial help for it as I can't afford it. I will keep my fingers crossed as far as that is concerned and just hope I get financial help for the course as there is a chance I might not be able to do it if I don't.

 

I really did build myself up for the let down of not getting on the course so you can imagine my utter surprise when the letter dropped on my door mat this morning and it was in there,,,,,,,,,,,my acceptance letter when I really thought it was a rejection letter.

I guess I got so used to nothing going my way and everything working against me that I just thought that there was no way I was going to get on the course.

 

The first person I told was my dad because he knew how much I wanted to get on it. All along he has been saying that he thought I would get on it but I had my doubts about it.

But hey I am on it and I couldn't be more pleased about it.

 

I think I will ring my mum after tea and let her know. I haven't even told her I was applying as I didn't think I would get on it so the less people I told about it the less I would have to tell I didn't get on it.

 

The introduction evening is on the 27th September, so two weeks on Tuesday, that is where I will meet my lecturers and fellow students. I will also get my timetable and will fill out the proper registration forms for the course.

 

I think this weekend I might pay a visit to the library to get some Law books out, beginner ones, so I can get a bit of a head start on the course because a lot of people on this course will have done some sort of Law course before like A-level or foundation level. I just hope that I am not the only one that hasn't done any kind of Law before as I don't want to struggle with it.

 

I know this course will be a lot of hard work but I am willing to put in the work even though at times I will be stressed out and other times I will be in a lazy mood and won't want to bother with it but I want a degree in Law and that means working hard and then in four years time I will have a degree in Law.

 

Of course I am carrying on with the OU. Nothing will stop me from that, well not another degree. It will be hard work doing them both together but it is really what I want to do so I am going to grab hold of it with both hands and get on with it.

 

 

 

Finished my FINAL TMA for A207

 

 

I did it!

 

I finished my final TMA for A207...... and of course I am over the moon about that!

 

I spent about 5 hours on this TMA though I did spend a while looking over the question before I started and during doing the TMA I kept looking at it with hope that something would come to me to help me write my best TMA to date.

 

I feel like a big massive weight has been lifted off my shoulder now that the final TMA is out the way. I feel great for once and not bogged down with study. It is a nice feeling.

 

I even managed to post my TMA 2 days before I normally post it so it will probably be with my tutor now as I write this.

 

I am a little nervous about getting it back as I don't want to fail and I really don't know what I will get score wise but as long as I pass I will be more than happy.

 

A207 isn't an easy course so it has been a trying nine months so far and I am not the only one who has struggled with aspects of the course including how fast the course moves and if I had to pick again I don't think I would do the course again even though there are aspects of the course that I really enjoyed.

 

Now I have to write up a revision plan as this is revision time that I am now in. I need to revise and revise hard for this upcoming exam as this is my first exam and I am very nervous about it and I do wonder if I will cope with the pressure of an exam.

It should be interesting that is for sure and I will get through it as long as I can go to the loo half way through. sometimes nerves gets the better of me.

 

3 hours the exam is.....I don't know if I can sit still for that long so I might have practise sessions in about a months time. Or maybe even before then as I need to get use to sitting still for three hour writing. I know if I have to sit writing for more than 30 minutes my arm hurts (my wrist) so I hope that isn't the case when it comes to the exam.

 

Wish me luck as I will need it......

 

 

Well

I started my TMA....yay....well that was the other day and I managed to do less that 100 words.

I left it all day Friday and I went back to it today (Saturday) and I took it up to 700 words and that was really hard to do.

I have worked out I need to do another 200 words on that part of the TMA as I don't think I will be able to do 500 words each on the next two parts.

I think for one of the parts I am going to use Sir John Sloane, I may pick my mind if that it too hard or I can't think of more than 200 words to write on him.

For the other person/text/picture I don't have a clue. I don't think that I want it to be a picture as there is no way I could write 500 words on a picture in relation to the question I have to answer.

To find out what I am going to use I will have a quick look through my course books to see all that I have done and maybe back over my TMA questions as it doesn't say you can't use the people/subjects you used in the TMA.

I need to write 400 words minimum on each of the two subjects, I don't know if I can do it but I will sure as hell try.

The 700 words I did today did come fast to me and maybe I should try harder with my TMAs and do draft after draft but I always find that I never do anything better than what I originally do.

I just hope that I can do enough.

Lacking Motivation

Yet again I am having such a hard time with my motivation....it drives me mad when it is like this but what can I do to get myself into a rut and don't get anything done.

 

I need to find some sort of motivation and fast as I have one week to do my TMA as it has to be finished by the end of Tuesday next week to be sent first thing Wednesday morning.

I haven't even started and have only done a tiny bit of the course work needed to do the first part of the question.

The question is another tough one and I am not looking forward to doing it but I need to get it done and the sooner the start the better as I don't want to have to rush through it in a couple of hours. I want to pass it and not fail it.

 

Motivation is what I need as I have the time to do it but I don't use my time to my advantage like I should do......

I know I can't really start it tonight though I will look at some of the course work for 30 minutes this evening....see a target or task for me, which ever way you want to look at it.

I might as well do a target for tomorrow and that will be read through the course work (all of it) for the first part of the question and look over the question a few times so that it starts to sink in.

 

 

 

Onto a different subject now.....

 

I bought a book months ago called "Want to play" and I keep reading a few chapters and then putting it down and forgetting about it.

It isn't the best book I read but I feel it is a good book nonetheless but I just keep forgetting to read it and I picked it up again when I went to bed last night and only read one chapter. Well it was after one and the chapter I read was like 15 pages long and the next one was even longer so I didn't want to have to start it at the time in the morning.

So from now on I am going to try to go to bed at midnight unless there is a film on and read a couple of chapters of my book each night to get through it so I can start my next Dan Brown book.

I could even read some of the book during the day instead of wasting my time away doing nothing.

 

 

 

Decorating my room

I really want my room to be done up because I decorated it five years ago and my tastes have changed a bit since then as you can guess as I was 17 then and now I am 22...well I will be 23 in a couple of months.

My taste hasn't changed so much that it is the opposite but it has changed to the point that I now want a light coloured room instead of the dark room that I have now. It's not dark, dark but it is way too dark for me and I would light it to be more lighter than what it is now.

But then that is the problem because one minute I want it a nice lilac colour then I want it white and then I want it a cream kind of colour.

I have a silver door and windowsill but if I go for cream I won't be able to keep it, well I might as cream and silver go.

It's just I don't know what I want the most, I really like lilac and even wanted a lilac carpet (if they do them that colour) but if I have cream I don't think it will go but I can't have a cream carpet as it won't stay cream for a long time. Not with lucky who drops his fur all year round and gets muddy. So of course I can't have a carpet that is too light as it will soon be filthy with Lucky round.

So I don't know what colour to go for but I think I have just ruled out white.

Then the other day I saw a room on the tele that was red and it was a really nice red and it made me think about having a red room. The room I am sitting in now is red so maybe I could say one red room in the house is enough.

But I am still back to the dilemma of what colour to have my room.

 

I have to strip the wallpaper off first and I really don't want to have to do that because I can't be arsed if I am honest. Plus I know when I do that I will wait months and months to have my room decorated because my dad said he was going to pay my step dad to do it and he is really busy so I will end up waiting months for him to do it.

I just want it doing so bad as I am sick of looking at the colours that I have now and want something fresher where I wouldn't mind spending more time in my room. I also so much want a carpet as I am sick of the wooden floor. It's not very warm in my room and I know it will be warmer once there is a nice carpet down in there. I don't want a thin one either, I am going to go for a nice thick one in there to warm the room up. I also need some new curtains too and they are going to be nice thick lined ones to keep it nice and toasty and for the summer I will get some thinner ones.

 

 

Law Course

Well I rung up about the course and I have been told by the course leader that there is a very good chance that I will get on the course.

It does have to go through the UNI so they can say no to me going on the course which I hope that they don't do.

Then there is the question of funding...there is a meeting about it at the end of next month and I just hope I can get funding for the course otherwise I won't be able to go on it even if I do get excepted.

 

I do want to do this course so much and I am waiting for something to go wrong to stop me from going on the course.

For once I want something to go my way so I hope that this works out for me.

 

I will keep you posted.......

and now....

I can now post things on here via my email account which is cool. Though I think this option is always been on here for me to use. I just clicked on it the other day when I was looking through my settings.

 

Since my last major post on here a lot of things have happened and a lot of them I really don't want to get into as this is an online diary and anyone can read it. I know this hasn't bothod me before but some things concern certain people that know about my Blog and I just don't want them reading this and know what is going on.

I will say some things but for now I must hold back on other things.

 

Well my most recent news is from Sunday (20th) when I broke my toe. I broke my little toe on my left foot and it is complete agony. I am having such a hard time walking and I am having to walk on my heel and there is still a lot of pain from that. I can only get one pair of my shoes on too as all the other ones have a strap or part of the shoe going over my toe and I couldn't put them on.

My toe looks so bad too, it's purple but that is nothing to the pain that I am feeling.....poor me  :O(

 

I am thinking of going to college because I really want to do a few A-Levels. I never had the chance to do then when I was younger and now I want to do at least three. I know it will be hard work but what I am doing with the Open University now is a lot higher than a A-level. The first year at the OU is first year uni which is higher than A-Level as you have to do your A-levels to get into uni in the first place.

Now I am even on Level Two which is great though I am getting D grades when the average is a C but I don't mind as I missed out a massive chunk of my education when I was younger so I am doing pretty well considering.

I have been thinking about what A-Levels I would do and I am not too sure as I don't feel I would do too well with English as my spelling and everything else is so bad, I wouldn't do maths either as that is worse than my English.

I have to be realistic about what I am going to do and I guess they will be Humanities bases as that is what I have mainly been doing with the OU. So I will do at least two Humanity based A-Levels and the third is something I wanted to do with the OU this year but I couldn't because it costs over £1000 per course. What I would love to do is Law so I would so much love to go for the Law A-Level. If I pass that, or I should be more positive and say when, I would love to do an advanced Law course where you do a three year Law course in a year. All the time I want to carry on with my OU courses, I know it will be tough but it is what I want to do, so I will have to be strict with myself and set a schedule. In the long run I think that it will be worth it in the end.

For the other two I think I will take history as one and the other I am not sure, I was thinking of Religion but I am doing that with the OU next year and don't really want to do it as a A-Level at the same time as I don't want to mix up what I am learning.

 

I can't think of what else to write about here yet a lot of things have happened lately, maybe as I write more I will be able to think of what I do and what I don't want to write.

 

I was just looking at the courses that Learn Direct offer and they do a lot of Law ones and the courses are not that long so I could do quite a lot within a year. I can do them when I have time too as there isn't a set date when the courses have to be finished which is good so I might ring them up next week and see what they have to say.

I know that I really want to do Law and have done so for ages now so I guess a Learn Direct Course is one of the best ways to get started on Law courses.

 

 

I am really looking forward to Bon Jovi's New album HAVE A NICE DAY coming out. It is due out next month and I am sure I will go out and get it the day it goes on sale. I think it's out on the 19th. There is also a single of the same name due out but I don't know what the date of that release is but I am sure I will find out soon I guess.

More than anything I am looking forward to seeing them on tour the next time they go on tour. Last time I went and was really ill so I can't remember too much about it but I know that it was brilliant. This time I am hoping to go to two of their concerts. I know you are thinking one is enough but it isn't when they might not tour again here for years, last time was 2003. So they may not tour till next year and it might be years before they come again, I hope it isn't. Bon Jovi was the first concert that I went to and I loved it, well what I remember of it. This time I hope to be nearer the stage though.

 

 

My last TMA was over a week late as there was so much going on it my life I couldn't get it done on time so I had to ask for an extension. I got an extension and then realised I needed a longer one so I asked for a longer one but before I could find out how long I had been given I went off the internet for a week so that my computer could be stripped down because of viruses.

The day before I got my computer back I sat down and did my TMA in a few hours (my fastest to date) and then printed it off on my mums computer. Then I got my computer back the next day and found out that my tutor had given me a 3 week extension and I did think about keeping my TMA and working on it but I thought I might not do any better than what I did because I didn't really understand the question. Also my next TMA is due in at the same time so I thought I better just get on with the course work for that because I can't have an extension for that TMA as it is the last TMA and that can't be late. I don't know if it can under special circumstances.

So I sent the TMA in on Saturday and now I feel like even though I don't fully understand the TMA I can do a better one than the one that I have already done. I am really worried about the mark I am going to get for the TMA and wish so much that I had kept it to send in with my next one as I could work on them both at the same time. When I sent it I didn't think I could but now I look back I know that I could work on it and make even a little bit better.

I feel so much now that it is going to be a bad fail and I can't afford to fail it now, not a bad one, a few marks fail is OK but a bad fail I can't do as I will fail the course and I don't want to fail because I have worked so hard on my course and to fail it now would really hurt.

My next TMA has to be sent two weeks today and it is hard, well it wouldn't be easy, and I need to do the course work and then go back over the course and find two texts to use in my argument. It is going to be hard but I am hoping I won't struggle with it. I was hoping each TMA I did I would get higher marks but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore as I don't get higher and higher each TMA I do which is a shame.

All I hope for now is a pass and I can't hope for anything else other than that. So I hope the one I just sent in gets a pass and so does my next one. Then all I have to contend with is the exam and of course I hope to pass that, I am not likely to hope I fail. I know the exam is going to be mega hard for me, I have never done an exam before so I am going into this and I kind of know what to expect but I have never had an experience of an exam. I just hope I pass and if I don't I hope it isn't a bad fail as I will then be able to re-sit it next year. I just am hoping I pass it the first time so I don't have to keep going over the course work to remember things for the re-sit which is months and months after you fail your first one. So I will keep my fingers and everything else crossed in hope of a PASS.

 

What else is there to say? I don't really know. Well I have started saving up for Christmas now as it isn't too far away and will be here before we know it. My target is £500 even though I know that I will need more than that but it is good to have a target to aim for.

Have I saved any? Well just about but it is only £10 but hey that is better than nothing I guess. In the next two weeks I should be adding about £150 to it so that is like a quarter (over) a way to my target. By the end of October I will have about £350 in it and at the end of November it will be £500. What I get after then is a bonus but my minimum is £500.

I don't have a clue what I will be getting everyone for Christmas....I think the only person I have a clue about is my Dad and my dog. Well I was going to get Lucky another bed as he loves his bed but moves to another place during the night when he is sleeping so he really needs two beds but I was thinking of buying him another one soon when I have some cash as he is a good boy and deserves a nice treat so I will probably get him a bed next month rather than Christmas.

 

 

This is my update for now, I am sure there is more to say but I guess this update will be for now. I feel like going back to bed for an hour now so I might do that as I am rather tired. I don't know if I will fall to sleep as I am not sleeping very well at the moment but I like my bed so I will have a lie down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quick

I am just on here to say I haven't been on the computer for over a week and that is one of the mail reasons why I haven't posted a post this month.
A lot has gone on so I haven't really had the time to post anything and I don't know when I will but I will try to post something before the month is out....

Since I last posted on here I have gotten through one of the toughest TMAs to date and passed which I am glad about.
The TMA drove me mad as I was suffering really badly from writers block and what I was actually writing wasn't what I had in my head to write. So I basically wrote a lot of rubbish because what I wanted to write wasn't coming out.
I had such a hard time to write anything at all and I was like 400 words down on it and normally, even if I am stuck, I manage to get over the amount of words you are meant to use but this time I didn't but at least I passed and that is the main thing.
I was getting worried about passing as my TMA was 3 days late in getting back to me and I was in a bit of a panic about it but I got it and opened it straight away and was very happy to see that I HAD PASSED!

I did have a week and a half off after I finished my TMA when I was only planning four days max but I just got out of the routine of studying and now I have gotten back into it by doing some on Friday then over the weekend I didn't do any as I had a bit of a cold and my head hurt too much to do any. Now Today I am back on my study and have done just over an hour and will be going back to it very soon to do enough to fill five pages of A4 paper, with answers to the questions in the exercises, and that might take a while to do as there is a lot of reading as well as the exercises but once I have filled the five pages I have run out of A4 paper and can't do anymore to I have another book of A4 paper which I am hoping will be Wednesday.

Even though I won't be studying because lack of paper it doesn't mean that I won't be doing anything as my dad is working on a set of accounts and I said that I will work on them this week so I can earn myself a bit of money. So he is giving them for me to finish them

Update

Since I last posted on here I have gotten through one of the toughest TMAs to date and passed which I am glad about.
The TMA drove me mad as I was suffering really badly from writers block and what I was actually writing wasn't what I had in my head to write. So I basically wrote a lot of rubbish because what I wanted to write wasn't coming out.
I had such a hard time to write anything at all and I was like 400 words down on it and normally, even if I am stuck, I manage to get over the amount of words you are meant to use but this time I didn't but at least I passed and that is the main thing.
I was getting worried about passing as my TMA was 3 days late in getting back to me and I was in a bit of a panic about it but I got it and opened it straight away and was very happy to see that I HAD PASSED!

I did have a week and a half off after I finished my TMA when I was only planning four days max but I just got out of the routine of studying and now I have gotten back into it by doing some on Friday then over the weekend I didn't do any as I had a bit of a cold and my head hurt too much to do any. Now Today I am back on my study and have done just over an hour and will be going back to it very soon to do enough to fill five pages of A4 paper, with answers to the questions in the exercises, and that might take a while to do as there is a lot of reading as well as the exercises but once I have filled the five pages I have run out of A4 paper and can't do anymore to I have another book of A4 paper which I am hoping will be Wednesday.

Even though I won't be studying because lack of paper it doesn't mean that I won't be doing anything as my dad is working on a set of accounts and I said that I will work on them this week so I can earn myself a bit of money. So he is giving them for me to finish them off and earn some money for the weekend.
I don't know how much work there is for me to do but I would say that there will be a lot for me to do and to keep me busy for a few days but I don't mind doing it as it isn't too hard.

I have to get the house in a tidy shape too as I have let it go a bit over the past month. There was a time when I was doing at least an hours worth of cleaning a day to keep on top of it but I haven't been able to do any because I have been lazy. I know that isn't a good excuse but at least I am being honest there.
I have actually done about forty minutes worth of cleaning so far today and I can see myself doing more before the day is out.

I might not of mentioned it in any previous posts yet but Mr D will be down this weekend. Well on Friday. He is at Summer School in Edinburgh at the moment but when it finishes on Friday at lunch time he will be getting a train down to Preston and then riding his bike from Preston to Blackburn to come and stay for five days and four nights.
He will be staying here as he is a bit cheap and doesn't want to pay for a hotel though he didn't mind that at first but then I said my dad might let him stay here and he pinned all his hopes on that. Well actually if I am honest he put it as set in stone that he could stay here even though I did say to him that there was a massive chance that he wouldn't be able to stay here.
Anyway I told him that my dad is likely to say no and he didn't seem to take that too well and got in a grumpy mood with me when there was no need what-so-ever to do that. It is because he seems to not to like to spend his money and neither did my last BF who was also Scottish. I am not saying that all Scottish men are like that but the ones I have known are like that.
Anyway as I said he was bang out of order because I never said he would be allowed to stay here for sure and him being him thought he would be able to no problem.
Anyway I pushed the subject with my dad and he said that he could stay here and I told Mr D and he came across not too thankful even though I had explained the chances of staying here as slim to nil so it really pissed me off when he didn't seem to thankful for it. I just don't think he understands my dad and this whole situation and if he listened to all that I say to him when I explain things then he may of been a lot more thankful and grateful for being allowed to stay here.
Next was the situation of where he was going to sleep. Well it isn't and wasn't going to be in my room with me. No way!
So I told him we didn't have any spare beds or anything for him to sleep on and that he might have to buy a camp bed or a fold down bed or something. I explained we had nothing and that seen as he was saving over £100 on the hotel then £25 for a fold down bed isn't that expensive. But he had other ideas and made it clear that he would be sleeping on the sofa.
Well there you go...Wellll I knew the second he said that he was determined to sleep on it no matter what and no matter what I said to him he didn't listen.
I told him that (a) the sofa is too small for him as when I lie on it my feet hang over the end and he is 6 inches tallers than me (b) the sofa isn't at all comfy enough to sleep on as I tried and spent 90% of the night fully awake (C) it is a sofa and maybe one night on the sofa every now and then is ok but not three nights on the run.
To (a) he didn't seem to want to listen to or take in what I was saying about it being to short for him to lie on. To (b) he said he can sleep anywhere, even on things that are not comfy and I told him that if I can't fall asleep on it then there is no chance that he will be able to do so either. To (c) he seemed to not take in the fact that it is a sofa first and foremost and that is where we have to sit. It is not for sleeping on and it woulf only be ok for one night for someone to sleep on as a last choice really.
He got really irritated at that and I could tell he was really pissed off. I think he is so used to being able to do what he wants to do ancompromisese is not in his nature. I too am used to doing what I want to do but I know how tcompromisese and not tell people what I will be doing and where I will be sleeping in their house.
Me and my dad talked about the sofa issue and he agreed with what I said and when I told Mr D he seemed pissed off with me about it and was grumpy with me over it which I really didn't deserve and if hcarriesys on being like that when he doesn't get his own way or for the numerous other ways he takes his grumpy mood out on me for then I won't have anything to do with him as I am not here for that kind of shit off anyone.
Anyway I said he will have to get something to sleep on as I have nothing here and the sofa is out of bounds for anything other than sitting on.
He then agreed to buy a air bed when he came down here only to find out his dad had one. Well to save money he was going to borrow that and take it all the way to Edinburgh on his bike and then on the train down to Preston and then on his bike from Preston to my house.
Now if that isn't being (a) stupid (b) cheap (c) childish then I don't know what is as he was going to have to drag it round with him all over the place so he didn't have to buy anything to sleep on. Now that is cheap and it pissed me off and I was a bit grumpy with him for once not that anyone would notice as he had been in a grumpy mood for days and was being a right idiot with me for no reason and even denied doing it when I told him how badly he was treating me. I then did get a perfectic appogee about it a few days later but I should of ended it there and then as he was being so off with me for no reason and blamed his mood on his daughter yet he wouldn't tell me what she was of meant to have done to get him in that mood.
Anyway I knew my brother had an air bed from a conversation with my mum and I didn't really want to tell BD that I knew someone with one as I am sick to death of him being cheap and having to have everything his way ( u can tell he has been single for a long time as he iextremelyly selfish and child like) so I did say a day before he left for Summer School that I knew someone who had one but I had to ask first and to hold off the plans of ordering one online whilst I found out if I could borrow one.
So my brother said yes and Mr D didn't even ask me the answer as he took it as he would be able to borrow one before I even said I could and that annoyed me as I said I might not be able to so yet again he was way out of order. But when I told him my brother was lending me one he did seegratefulul for once but that was because I had saved him £25 and his attitude is annoying me and I don't care who reads this as I know he will but I am telling him this to his face. Oh and another things that annoys me is the fact he thinks he is always right and hates to be told he isn't and I will tell him how I feel about all these things that have gone on and he will be in a grumpy mood with me because of it and be nasty to me. I don't know why he gets this way but I am sick of it.... 100% sick of it.....