When Doves Cry

It's been a busy couple of weeks for me and I can't see it settling down for a while but I'm liking the fact I'm doing so much and getting more things done.

I can't to a big decision a couple of weeks ago without really even thinking about it before hand...I was just sat here one night and I suddenly decided to move out! WOW I know it's shocking but it's been a long time coming to be honest and I'm more than ready and I don't think there is any better time than now to move out.
About 2 years ago I decided to move out in the summer of 2010 and I didn't think I could move before then but with all that's gone on in the past 9 months (from when I started driving lessons with Mick) and how my confidence has grown a little I think it's helped me so much and rather than going backwards to who I was (and the lack of confidence I had) before Mick came into my life I think now is the time to go. It will do me the world of good and I know I will struggle heaps for a while but pushing myself daily, when I've moved out, will help me heaps and will be good for me in the long run even though I am sure I won't think so.
So I've been looking for somewhere and I've had a look at a couple of places and I can't afford anywhere for a couple of weeks (the deposit and first months rent) but once I have the money I will be gone once I've found a house. The first house I went to see I'd like but it was three bedrooms and I only need two so I don't think I'm going to go for it.
I know I want to live in Mill Hill so it's just waiting for a house there that I like and in the mean time I'm buying everything I need from plates to pans and cooker to a fridge freezer so by the time I've got somewhere I will have everything I need.
Everyone was shocked but it's been coming for a long time and now I have a little more confidence I just can't think of a better time. I will miss my dad, for what I see of him, and I do feel guilty about leaving him because it's been the 2 of us for the past 14 years but I am sick of doing all the housework and cooking and cleaning up after him and it's just time I had my own life and my own space.
I know it will be weird and take a lot of getting use to but I need to do this, I know if I don't do it now I will never do it because my confidence has already gone down in the past month so before I go back to what I was I need to get out.
Maybe by my next blog I will of gone...who knows but watch this space!!

Everybody's Fool

I don't know why I can't seem to keep up with doing blogs, I think it's just me being part lazy and part wanting to spend my time doing other things.
Nothing much is going on to talk about, well not really, and I can't even remember what I talked about last time I did a blog which of course isn't good.

I've done two passplus's now and I don't think I'm getting anything out of them other than spending time with Mick and yeah I love spending time with him but paying to spend time with him just isn't a good idea but I don't want to not see him and go for drives. Because lets face it a lot of my driving lessons weren't needed and were just put in place so we could spend time together. He has a hold over me and he knows it so he knows he could easily take me for a ride and have me doing passplus until I'm 50 haha. I know it won't be that extreme but he is going to pass me and said I don't need to have anymore unless I want to and of course I want to but I think I'd rather spend my money on other things.
Last one he didn't even want to go on the motorway and it was only because I wanted to go on that he let me go on a couple of quiet ones when it's busy ones I want him to take me on!
Anyway I have one in about a months time and it's going to be my last one and I want time on the motorway and I don't mean quiet ones either and he is going to be told, I'm paying him and I want a proper passplus!

I got Green Day tickets this morning :o) I am so happy because I've never seen them live before and have always wanted to see them live so I really can't wait to go and see them. It is going to be amazing. I am seeing them two days before my Birthday in Manchester and I plan on having a great night out in Manchester. Halloween is the night before my birthday so I hope I get invited to a Halloween fancy dress party of something because I think that would be amazing!

It's getting closer and closer now to the Michael Jackson concert in London. July during the second week, I'm going for three days and I am so excited about it. I really can't wait, he is the ultimate performer and I've always wanted to see him live and of course I never thought it would happen but hey it looks like it is going to happen and I will be booking my hotel this weekend and I so can't wait.
I love London so that is going to be amazing, being down there again for three days and I am going to plan everything I want to do and see before I go and hope to get it all in. The concert is on the second days and we are coming home on the first day (in the afternoon) so we basically need to get the majority of the stuff done within the first 24 hours of being there. It is great and I love the underground, it rocks!!

I am going to Scotland three weeks today and am meant to be doing the half marathon but I've not done any walking in 2 weeks so I don't think I will be fit enough to walk a half marathon but I am going to keep on walking and get fitter and fitter so I can start my running by the end of June and that's not that far off come to think of it.

Anyway I need to go and get busy, I have some work to do today and I am putting some CDs onto my iTunes.