Lacking Motivation

Yet again I am having such a hard time with my motivation....it drives me mad when it is like this but what can I do to get myself into a rut and don't get anything done.

 

I need to find some sort of motivation and fast as I have one week to do my TMA as it has to be finished by the end of Tuesday next week to be sent first thing Wednesday morning.

I haven't even started and have only done a tiny bit of the course work needed to do the first part of the question.

The question is another tough one and I am not looking forward to doing it but I need to get it done and the sooner the start the better as I don't want to have to rush through it in a couple of hours. I want to pass it and not fail it.

 

Motivation is what I need as I have the time to do it but I don't use my time to my advantage like I should do......

I know I can't really start it tonight though I will look at some of the course work for 30 minutes this evening....see a target or task for me, which ever way you want to look at it.

I might as well do a target for tomorrow and that will be read through the course work (all of it) for the first part of the question and look over the question a few times so that it starts to sink in.

 

 

 

Onto a different subject now.....

 

I bought a book months ago called "Want to play" and I keep reading a few chapters and then putting it down and forgetting about it.

It isn't the best book I read but I feel it is a good book nonetheless but I just keep forgetting to read it and I picked it up again when I went to bed last night and only read one chapter. Well it was after one and the chapter I read was like 15 pages long and the next one was even longer so I didn't want to have to start it at the time in the morning.

So from now on I am going to try to go to bed at midnight unless there is a film on and read a couple of chapters of my book each night to get through it so I can start my next Dan Brown book.

I could even read some of the book during the day instead of wasting my time away doing nothing.

 

 

 

Decorating my room

I really want my room to be done up because I decorated it five years ago and my tastes have changed a bit since then as you can guess as I was 17 then and now I am 22...well I will be 23 in a couple of months.

My taste hasn't changed so much that it is the opposite but it has changed to the point that I now want a light coloured room instead of the dark room that I have now. It's not dark, dark but it is way too dark for me and I would light it to be more lighter than what it is now.

But then that is the problem because one minute I want it a nice lilac colour then I want it white and then I want it a cream kind of colour.

I have a silver door and windowsill but if I go for cream I won't be able to keep it, well I might as cream and silver go.

It's just I don't know what I want the most, I really like lilac and even wanted a lilac carpet (if they do them that colour) but if I have cream I don't think it will go but I can't have a cream carpet as it won't stay cream for a long time. Not with lucky who drops his fur all year round and gets muddy. So of course I can't have a carpet that is too light as it will soon be filthy with Lucky round.

So I don't know what colour to go for but I think I have just ruled out white.

Then the other day I saw a room on the tele that was red and it was a really nice red and it made me think about having a red room. The room I am sitting in now is red so maybe I could say one red room in the house is enough.

But I am still back to the dilemma of what colour to have my room.

 

I have to strip the wallpaper off first and I really don't want to have to do that because I can't be arsed if I am honest. Plus I know when I do that I will wait months and months to have my room decorated because my dad said he was going to pay my step dad to do it and he is really busy so I will end up waiting months for him to do it.

I just want it doing so bad as I am sick of looking at the colours that I have now and want something fresher where I wouldn't mind spending more time in my room. I also so much want a carpet as I am sick of the wooden floor. It's not very warm in my room and I know it will be warmer once there is a nice carpet down in there. I don't want a thin one either, I am going to go for a nice thick one in there to warm the room up. I also need some new curtains too and they are going to be nice thick lined ones to keep it nice and toasty and for the summer I will get some thinner ones.

 

 

Law Course

Well I rung up about the course and I have been told by the course leader that there is a very good chance that I will get on the course.

It does have to go through the UNI so they can say no to me going on the course which I hope that they don't do.

Then there is the question of funding...there is a meeting about it at the end of next month and I just hope I can get funding for the course otherwise I won't be able to go on it even if I do get excepted.

 

I do want to do this course so much and I am waiting for something to go wrong to stop me from going on the course.

For once I want something to go my way so I hope that this works out for me.

 

I will keep you posted.......

and now....

I can now post things on here via my email account which is cool. Though I think this option is always been on here for me to use. I just clicked on it the other day when I was looking through my settings.

 

Since my last major post on here a lot of things have happened and a lot of them I really don't want to get into as this is an online diary and anyone can read it. I know this hasn't bothod me before but some things concern certain people that know about my Blog and I just don't want them reading this and know what is going on.

I will say some things but for now I must hold back on other things.

 

Well my most recent news is from Sunday (20th) when I broke my toe. I broke my little toe on my left foot and it is complete agony. I am having such a hard time walking and I am having to walk on my heel and there is still a lot of pain from that. I can only get one pair of my shoes on too as all the other ones have a strap or part of the shoe going over my toe and I couldn't put them on.

My toe looks so bad too, it's purple but that is nothing to the pain that I am feeling.....poor me  :O(

 

I am thinking of going to college because I really want to do a few A-Levels. I never had the chance to do then when I was younger and now I want to do at least three. I know it will be hard work but what I am doing with the Open University now is a lot higher than a A-level. The first year at the OU is first year uni which is higher than A-Level as you have to do your A-levels to get into uni in the first place.

Now I am even on Level Two which is great though I am getting D grades when the average is a C but I don't mind as I missed out a massive chunk of my education when I was younger so I am doing pretty well considering.

I have been thinking about what A-Levels I would do and I am not too sure as I don't feel I would do too well with English as my spelling and everything else is so bad, I wouldn't do maths either as that is worse than my English.

I have to be realistic about what I am going to do and I guess they will be Humanities bases as that is what I have mainly been doing with the OU. So I will do at least two Humanity based A-Levels and the third is something I wanted to do with the OU this year but I couldn't because it costs over £1000 per course. What I would love to do is Law so I would so much love to go for the Law A-Level. If I pass that, or I should be more positive and say when, I would love to do an advanced Law course where you do a three year Law course in a year. All the time I want to carry on with my OU courses, I know it will be tough but it is what I want to do, so I will have to be strict with myself and set a schedule. In the long run I think that it will be worth it in the end.

For the other two I think I will take history as one and the other I am not sure, I was thinking of Religion but I am doing that with the OU next year and don't really want to do it as a A-Level at the same time as I don't want to mix up what I am learning.

 

I can't think of what else to write about here yet a lot of things have happened lately, maybe as I write more I will be able to think of what I do and what I don't want to write.

 

I was just looking at the courses that Learn Direct offer and they do a lot of Law ones and the courses are not that long so I could do quite a lot within a year. I can do them when I have time too as there isn't a set date when the courses have to be finished which is good so I might ring them up next week and see what they have to say.

I know that I really want to do Law and have done so for ages now so I guess a Learn Direct Course is one of the best ways to get started on Law courses.

 

 

I am really looking forward to Bon Jovi's New album HAVE A NICE DAY coming out. It is due out next month and I am sure I will go out and get it the day it goes on sale. I think it's out on the 19th. There is also a single of the same name due out but I don't know what the date of that release is but I am sure I will find out soon I guess.

More than anything I am looking forward to seeing them on tour the next time they go on tour. Last time I went and was really ill so I can't remember too much about it but I know that it was brilliant. This time I am hoping to go to two of their concerts. I know you are thinking one is enough but it isn't when they might not tour again here for years, last time was 2003. So they may not tour till next year and it might be years before they come again, I hope it isn't. Bon Jovi was the first concert that I went to and I loved it, well what I remember of it. This time I hope to be nearer the stage though.

 

 

My last TMA was over a week late as there was so much going on it my life I couldn't get it done on time so I had to ask for an extension. I got an extension and then realised I needed a longer one so I asked for a longer one but before I could find out how long I had been given I went off the internet for a week so that my computer could be stripped down because of viruses.

The day before I got my computer back I sat down and did my TMA in a few hours (my fastest to date) and then printed it off on my mums computer. Then I got my computer back the next day and found out that my tutor had given me a 3 week extension and I did think about keeping my TMA and working on it but I thought I might not do any better than what I did because I didn't really understand the question. Also my next TMA is due in at the same time so I thought I better just get on with the course work for that because I can't have an extension for that TMA as it is the last TMA and that can't be late. I don't know if it can under special circumstances.

So I sent the TMA in on Saturday and now I feel like even though I don't fully understand the TMA I can do a better one than the one that I have already done. I am really worried about the mark I am going to get for the TMA and wish so much that I had kept it to send in with my next one as I could work on them both at the same time. When I sent it I didn't think I could but now I look back I know that I could work on it and make even a little bit better.

I feel so much now that it is going to be a bad fail and I can't afford to fail it now, not a bad one, a few marks fail is OK but a bad fail I can't do as I will fail the course and I don't want to fail because I have worked so hard on my course and to fail it now would really hurt.

My next TMA has to be sent two weeks today and it is hard, well it wouldn't be easy, and I need to do the course work and then go back over the course and find two texts to use in my argument. It is going to be hard but I am hoping I won't struggle with it. I was hoping each TMA I did I would get higher marks but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore as I don't get higher and higher each TMA I do which is a shame.

All I hope for now is a pass and I can't hope for anything else other than that. So I hope the one I just sent in gets a pass and so does my next one. Then all I have to contend with is the exam and of course I hope to pass that, I am not likely to hope I fail. I know the exam is going to be mega hard for me, I have never done an exam before so I am going into this and I kind of know what to expect but I have never had an experience of an exam. I just hope I pass and if I don't I hope it isn't a bad fail as I will then be able to re-sit it next year. I just am hoping I pass it the first time so I don't have to keep going over the course work to remember things for the re-sit which is months and months after you fail your first one. So I will keep my fingers and everything else crossed in hope of a PASS.

 

What else is there to say? I don't really know. Well I have started saving up for Christmas now as it isn't too far away and will be here before we know it. My target is £500 even though I know that I will need more than that but it is good to have a target to aim for.

Have I saved any? Well just about but it is only £10 but hey that is better than nothing I guess. In the next two weeks I should be adding about £150 to it so that is like a quarter (over) a way to my target. By the end of October I will have about £350 in it and at the end of November it will be £500. What I get after then is a bonus but my minimum is £500.

I don't have a clue what I will be getting everyone for Christmas....I think the only person I have a clue about is my Dad and my dog. Well I was going to get Lucky another bed as he loves his bed but moves to another place during the night when he is sleeping so he really needs two beds but I was thinking of buying him another one soon when I have some cash as he is a good boy and deserves a nice treat so I will probably get him a bed next month rather than Christmas.

 

 

This is my update for now, I am sure there is more to say but I guess this update will be for now. I feel like going back to bed for an hour now so I might do that as I am rather tired. I don't know if I will fall to sleep as I am not sleeping very well at the moment but I like my bed so I will have a lie down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quick

I am just on here to say I haven't been on the computer for over a week and that is one of the mail reasons why I haven't posted a post this month.
A lot has gone on so I haven't really had the time to post anything and I don't know when I will but I will try to post something before the month is out....