It's been a busy couple of weeks for me and I can't see it settling down for a while but I'm liking the fact I'm doing so much and getting more things done.
I can't to a big decision a couple of weeks ago without really even thinking about it before hand...I was just sat here one night and I suddenly decided to move out! WOW I know it's shocking but it's been a long time coming to be honest and I'm more than ready and I don't think there is any better time than now to move out.
About 2 years ago I decided to move out in the summer of 2010 and I didn't think I could move before then but with all that's gone on in the past 9 months (from when I started driving lessons with Mick) and how my confidence has grown a little I think it's helped me so much and rather than going backwards to who I was (and the lack of confidence I had) before Mick came into my life I think now is the time to go. It will do me the world of good and I know I will struggle heaps for a while but pushing myself daily, when I've moved out, will help me heaps and will be good for me in the long run even though I am sure I won't think so.
So I've been looking for somewhere and I've had a look at a couple of places and I can't afford anywhere for a couple of weeks (the deposit and first months rent) but once I have the money I will be gone once I've found a house. The first house I went to see I'd like but it was three bedrooms and I only need two so I don't think I'm going to go for it.
I know I want to live in Mill Hill so it's just waiting for a house there that I like and in the mean time I'm buying everything I need from plates to pans and cooker to a fridge freezer so by the time I've got somewhere I will have everything I need.
Everyone was shocked but it's been coming for a long time and now I have a little more confidence I just can't think of a better time. I will miss my dad, for what I see of him, and I do feel guilty about leaving him because it's been the 2 of us for the past 14 years but I am sick of doing all the housework and cooking and cleaning up after him and it's just time I had my own life and my own space.
I know it will be weird and take a lot of getting use to but I need to do this, I know if I don't do it now I will never do it because my confidence has already gone down in the past month so before I go back to what I was I need to get out.
Maybe by my next blog I will of gone...who knows but watch this space!!
6 comments:
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