It's still Rock n Roll to me

I am so stressed right now and it isn't good for me. I have just taken on more than I can handle I guess and I am stressed and so tired :O(

Right first off I have to read about 400-600 pages a week of the course I did last year as I can't remember most of it and I have to do a resit as I have mentioned loads of times before on my blog.
Anyway I was meant to start doing it June and then I said July and I only started it last week and that is why I have to get through all those pages in the next 8 weeks. I wish I had started it months ago or even better than I didn't mess my exam up the way I did. I didn't like the course and found it more than hard going and know if I applied myself and did my revision I wouldn't have failed.
Right now I should be on the second block of the reading (there is 9 blocks) but I was ill all of last week and only managed to read 30 pages of the 400 I had to read. So I wanted to get that read by Friday at the latest and was planning to get at least 100 pages of it read tomorrow but those plans have well and truly gone out of the window now.
Anyway the exam is something like 9 weeks away and I need some revision time too so I have less than 8 weeks to get around 3600-4000 pages read. That is such a massive amount and as I stood under the shower tonight I thought I am going to have to try and do five hours a day reading 5-7 days a week in order to get it done. It might take longer than that as well because yesterday it took me an hour to read just under ten pages. The pages are almost A4 size and the print is tiny and it is doing my head in. - this is the only time I have to pass this exam and I don't want to blow it as I worked hard on the course and course work and passed that and all I need to do is pass the exam otherwise I will have wasted a year and it will put another year on my degree and I don't want that!! So I must apply myself and do five hours a day and that is going to take me time to get into but I don't have the time so from Wednesday I will be doing that for 5 hours a day and it will tire me out and I know it :O( It isn't just reading, it is academic reading and I have to take stuff in and I find that tiring and can't be anything else. I am not used to fives hours a day, I used to do three a day and I got out of that routine and need some routine again.

On top of that I still am on my current course and need to dedicate time to that too. I used to do four 3 hour sessions a week on it and when more time was needed I would give it more time especially around TMA (assignment) time. So I am hoping I can cut the sessions down and still keep up, I am hoping I can get away with 3 x 1 hour sessions a week and 2 x 2 hour sessions a week. One I have finished my course work and assignments for this course I have 3-4 weeks before the exam and must put serious revision in so will do a couple of hours 6 days a week for that time and hope that will be enough which I can see it will be.

Now as well as that I was meant to start my TMA today which is due in on Wednesday and can't be late. But last night I was still awake at 4am and was up early and have been too tired to do anything all day except for a little course work reading. I thought I will do my TMA tomorrow and either submit it tomorrow night or first thing on Wednesday morning. - I hadn't looked at that question/s at that point and when I did I had a shocked. I picked the one I thought I would do but then I looked at the guidance for the question and then decided I needed at least 3 days to do that at a rush so I picked the question I said I definitely wouldn't do because it seems to have the least to do for it. Don't get me wrong it isn't easy, but for the others I would have to go through most of the coursework again which could of taken days, as I still have loads of course work to go over to help me with the answer but I will be able to flick through it faster than I would be able to do with another question. I know it is going to be tough on me and I wish I have 2-3 days to do it in but I only have tomorrow so I must bite the bullet (to coin a phrase) and go for it tomorrow.
I am hoping my body doesn't keep me up all night again because being as tired as I am today won't help me to do anything. I am hoping to get my eight hours sleep and wake up really refreshed. I wish I didn't have to do the TMA but there is no choice and after I finish it I will take one day off from this course as my brain needs the break but also so I can then spend a full day on the A207 reading and see if I can get over 100 pages read in a day.

Stress huh?!! It is hard on me this and I must be mad by signing up to all the courses I have signed up for but I know if I make it through this then I can make it through anything academic. I am putting myself on the line here to get all this done and I am going to be tired and not wanting to do anything in the evenings other than chill out with music and chat to friends. I won't want to go anywhere and if I fall behind some of the things I like will have to be cut out till my exams are over in October.

Am I mad?!!

When my exams are over in the middle of October I am taking two full weeks off and shall be doing nothing to do with study!! One of my course starts in the middle of October but I won't be doing any of it and can (just) get away with it time wise. I will be pretty burnt out so I must take the two weeks off. Luckily for me the two courses I have taken on aren't humanities based and are technology and business studies so not taking on my brain the way that humanities courses are so I will have more time to do other things which I am happy about. I do hope to get the courses almost finished by the time I start my first level 3 course in Feb. The way I think or see it I know I will probably get most of the work done and will only need to do work around the time I must do TMAs for the courses so I can see myself having more time next year than I had this year.

I hope my friends hang on in there for me over the next two months as I won't be able to spend as much time online or spend anytime with them in person until this is over in the middle of October. I won't even have spare time for myself but I do get the feeling that they understand all the hard work I have to do and won't fall out with me. I do have some cool friends :O) They know who they are and they all mean something to me :O)

I am sweating now, with this typing and my brain trying to keep up with this lol. I think I might fall asleep fast when I go to bed at 1am so I should be ok with my study tomorrow.

I think I am a nutter or something because I have been listening to Queen a lot in the last few days and no that isn't why I am a nutter :op It is because I love the song "The show must go on" and I am playing it a lot, sometimes ten times in a row...lol. It must be the way that I feel at the moment as I haven't had a good couple of days because a now ex friend and the hurtful things that he has been saying to me. Oh well I guess we live and learn.

With all this stress in my life and too much hard work and not enough time and people stressing me out and hurting me there is something (other than my good friends) that is making me smile. hehe. I feel like a kid in a candy shop or something right now OMG! I can't say too much but there is someone in my life who I talk to on MSN and text etc who is making me smile. I never thought I would get on as well as I do with this person as I do. I get on with him big style and we can talk about alsorts of things and I enjoy their company. They have me smiling loads and in fact as I type this they are on my mind and well it is making me smile here :O) awww :op
I would love to spend sometime with this person but I don't have time and that gets to me because I want to spend some time with them but how can I with all I have on???????? :O( I just hope they are willing to stick around and wait till my exams are over! I would wait that long for them but would they wait that long to meet me? We will have to see I guess. I hope they want to meet me for a start :O) Why am I blushing? All I am doing it typing in my blog about someone yet I am all embarrassed lol Awwww :O)

Anyway I must go now because I need a drink. I hope a certain someone is online soon ;O) :O) hehe *smiles like a looney*