Sick

I have been sick for the past week. It is now Tuesday the 31st August 2004 and I am sat here feeling quite unwell and on edge and frustrated about my TMA for TXR174.
I started to get sick last week about this time and I didn't really know I was sick, I was just very run down and tired and just feeling unwell.
On Thursday I woke up with a cold and knew straight away that if I didn't take any Night Nurse I will be struck down with a heavy cold for the next three weeks.
I took Night Nurse and knew that there was going to be no way that I could do my TMA so I was so glad when I found out that my tutor Brian had returned from his holiday.
I then emailed him and asked for some achieve on my TMA as I am having the hardest time with it as well as struggling from writers block and at the same time I asked for a few extra days on it which he gave me, thank god!
I could then go to bed for the next three days. Some days I slept a lot but other days I just led there relaxing. I finally got back up on Sunday to start my TMA, well finish it, but I just could not find the energy as well as the words to do it. So I then sat back at the computer yesterday afternoon but all that came was about 200 words in total. I am really struggling with this TMA and I don't have a clue what the hell is wrong with me. When I am NOT sat at the computer I think about my TMA and I know things that I want to write and include but everytime I sit down nothing comes out and I get very frustrated. I am at the point were I can no longer concentrate for longer than 10 minutes and it really is doing my head in now as I know I can do it and I want to do it but the words are just not flowing.

I have now been sat here for a hour or two and I am trying to do this TMA as I need to post it tomorrow but the words are not coming to me yet again and I feel like screaming. I know I can pass this TMA but as you already know I want to more than pass. I now know that I can NOT do as well as I would of liked on this TMA because of my writers block. I know what ever I wtrite or do in this TMA that it is NOT going to be as good as I can do. I know I can do a lot better than the TMA I am going to be forced to submit. I really know I can do a lot better than what I am going to submit but the creative juices are just NOT flowing so I am just going to have to do it the only way I can do because of my writers block and I know it is going to be around a 40% score mark for me just because of this writers block and frustration that is going on. I know that I will NOT score over 50% for this TMA and it REALLY does sadden me because I know I can do a TMA worthy of 80%. I am NOT just saying that to sound cleaver or make myself out better than I am because I am the person with low expectations of myself. I am the one who knows that I am not the best and never will be the best at anything. I usually know what mark I can and will get and I am usually right. I am the person that doe put themselves down but I am the person who knows what I can accomplish and do and by putting myself down it saves me from having other people put me down and when they do I am NOT surprised as I already knew myself.
When I say I could get 80% I really know that I can get it but with the writers block and everything I know that I am going to score between 40 and 60% for this TMA. And I won't get 60% if I don't get my head together and get working on this TMA.